


Falling For You

by twisting_vine_x



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (also Keishin’s never been with a guy before), (that eventually gets resolved), Cuddling, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Keishin!POV, M/M, Making Out, Romance, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Wee bit of angst, bed sharing, both of them think their feelings are unrequited, drunk video game nights, handjobs, mostly just happy and fluffy, sharing a room in Tokyo, so so so much fluff, tokyo trip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-04-28 13:47:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5093039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twisting_vine_x/pseuds/twisting_vine_x
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A/N: So I really love these two, and I desperately wanted to write the one where they’re both horribly smitten, and they both think it’s unrequited; and then there are feels and more feels and then lots of happy fluff. (Also, this shall definitely include the S2 Tokyo trip.) </p><p>- - -</p><p>
  <i>“You know, this is exciting, actually. I can’t remember the last time I got drunk and lied around and played video games. Kind of like being a teenager all over again.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He’s grinning, as he says it – bright-eyed and sincere, like he actually means it; like there’s nothing he’d rather be doing with his Friday night than this, right here – and Keishin knows that he’s staring. He can’t help it, though. He feels like someone’s reached into his chest and squeezed.</i>
</p><p>- - -</p><p>Now with absolutely adorable chapter one <a href="http://nelleri.tumblr.com/post/133098080855/a-sick-takeda-playing-mario-kart-with-an">art</a> by <a href="http://www.nelleri.tumblr.com/">nelleri</a>. Thank you so, so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Also ka so (just cause I want folks to know what they're getting into) the ‘wee bit of angst’ warning basically pertains to three things:
> 
> 1\. Keishin’s always known that he’s not-completely-straight, but he’s never told anyone, and he’s never fallen for a guy before; and, while Takeda's current friends are awesome, he's had a few negative coming out experiences in the past; so there’s just a bit of angst around sexuality stuff, and a bit of nervousness from both Keishin and Takeda; but there's no internalized homophobia or serious amounts of angst. 
> 
> 2\. Keishin’s just a little bit insecure about his job and smarts and fiscal situation as compared to really brainy Takeda with the teaching career, but he gradually figures out that there’s no reason to be. 
> 
> 3\. There are a couple of scenes where Keishin jerks off while thinking about Takeda and then feels shitty about it after (not due to any internalized homophobia reasons, but because Takeda is his friend).
> 
> Ka that’s really all I can think of. And I promise happy endings for these two.

Keishin’s not exactly sure when he ended up falling this hard.

Not sure when, exactly, he’d stopped thinking of Takeda as just a friend, and when he’d started to want something more. Granted, he’d thought that Takeda was kind of horribly cute right from the start – that would have been pretty much impossible to miss, after all – but he’s not sure when he actually fell for him.

Maybe he should have really seen this coming, though.

Takeda’s loyalty to his students, his tenaciousness, the way he laughs at Keishin’s stupid jokes, the few times they’ve gone for drinks and Takeda’s spent the entire time acting like he was genuinely interested in anything Keishin had to say – it’s all been a terribly compelling mixture. Add in his laugh and how easily he gets flustered, and mix in that one night that he’d let Keishin talk him into going for a walk in the rain together, and, well – maybe Keishin has spent a little too much time thinking about how much he’d like to strip Takeda out of those fancy teacher outfits of his. God, it’s not even _fair,_ really. Nobody should be able to make a suit and tie look that good.

But he knows damn well it’s not the suit and tie, though. Knows, too, that it’s not even what’s underneath it, really – though that’s definitely a part of it. He’s never really – sure, he’s _noticed_ guys before. Jerked off to some of them, maybe a few times, too – but he’s never felt like _this._

Because this… this is something far past basic physical attraction. This is something different from any of the women he’s ever been interested in, too. Gender notwithstanding, it’s just that – _nobody_ hasever made him feel like this. Ever. Period. Nobody’s ever… hell, nobody’s ever given him _butterflies,_ before. He’s twenty-six, and he should know better than this – should know that crushes are for teenagers – but just being around Takeda makes it hard just to _breathe._

And it’s terrifying.

So, yeah. Maybe he has a little more than a crush, then. Which is horrible. That’s the last thing he needs – to fall for the male teacher who’s kind of become his co-coach, at this point.

But worse than any of that, though… Takeda is a friend. One of the few friends that Keishin has. Hell, he might even be his closest friend, at this point, and this is just… god, of _course_ Keishin would go and fall for him. Of course he’d fuck this up. He finally finds someone who genuinely seems to enjoy being with him – who goes out of his way to stop by the store, or bring him food, or bring him sake; and who just seems to _want_ to spend time with him – and Keishin fucks it up.

Maybe he can just keep it to himself, though. As long as Takeda never finds out, then Keishin won’t scare him off. Oh, he’s sure Takeda would be polite about it – but still. Even if Takeda was… gay, or… bi, or whatever… it’s not like Keishin is exactly a catch. He’s a guy in his late twenties who drinks too much and smokes too much and can’t seem to do more with his life than run the family store. He has his good points, too – he likes to think that he’s good with the team, and he knows that he’s one of the hardest workers he’s ever known – but still. Takeda’s scary smart, and he’s got an actual career, and everyone loves him, and he’s got a smile that could light up the entire damn city; and Keishin’s just… not like that. And he needs to just move the hell on, before he fucks up and ruins things with the closest friend he’s made since high school ended.

It’s not a pleasant thought, and his stomach’s hurting a bit as he eyes the beer by his bed – he’d bought it for the upcoming weekend, and it’s been sitting there tempting him all week – before he groans and turns off the light and crawls into bed, shoving his face into the pillow. He’s already only going to get about five hours of sleep, seeing as it’s already close to ten and he needs to be at the fucking farm at four am. The last thing he needs right now is a damn hangover.

\- - -

About a week later – a week of early mornings and late nights and too much work and not nearly enough sleep – and Keishin more or less gets slammed in the face with how much more than just a crush he has.

Because Takeda gets taken down by some kind of flu bug, and opts to take a week off from everything so he doesn’t get anyone else sick; and Keishin finds himself sitting in his apartment, trying to google for easy ways to make chicken soup. It takes him the better part of an hour to find a recipe, and then another couple hours to go buy everything – and then he fucks up the soup and has to start from scratch, which means that eleven o’clock that night finds him standing in his little cramped kitchen in a horribly messy apron, and with a pot of chicken soup finally done.

At eleven o’clock at night. He’s such an idiot.

And there’s not much room in his fridge, but he fits the pot in, somehow. He’s certainly not going to try to deliver this tonight. Hell, he doesn’t even know where Takeda lives. He could be on the other side of the city, for all that Keishin knows. And it’s not like someone like Keishin could ever afford to buy a car. Hell, he’d barely been able to get himself a damn bicycle.

Of course, more than that, though, is the fact that Takeda is probably long since asleep; and when Keishin turns off the light and crawls into bed, he’s very aware of how hard his heart is slamming.

Yeah. Definitely more than just a crush.

And he should really be trying to do damage control, here. Should be trying – as nicely as possible – to maybe put some space between them, at least when they’re not at the volleyball court. He should be trying to inconspicuously cut back on their nights out together, and he should be trying to stop thinking about how desperately he wants to actually invite Takeda back to his apartment for a drink, sometime. He should be trying to stop this before it gets any worse.

But he doesn’t _want_ to. And it wouldn’t be fair to Takeda, either. He’s been nothing but a sweetheart to Keishin, and Keishin would be the scum of the earth if he did anything to hurt him.

So he’s going to just have to be extra careful, then. Going to have to be careful to keep this secret.

He’s still going to deliver the damn soup, though. Because Takeda is sick, and he shouldn’t be deprived of soup – even soup as shitty as Keishin’s – just because Keishin is a love-struck idiot.

\- - -

He’s feeling like even more of a love-struck idiot by the time the next evening rolls around.

Because he’s at Takeda’s apartment, now – he’s never been here, before, and it’s just as pristine as he’d been expecting, and definitely a lot nicer than Keishin’s own little hole in the wall – and he’s standing in the kitchen holding the damn pot of soup; and Takeda’s looking at him like it’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for him.

“Oh, Ukai-kun.”

It sounds almost a bit overwhelmed, and Keishin feels himself flush right down his neck.

“Hey, it’s no big –”

“You – you didn’t have to –”

“I know, I just –”

“When you asked to come over, I figured that you had something to discuss about the team, or…”

He trails off, though, his mouth still hanging open, and – he’s wrapped in a blanket, and his nose is a bit red, and he’s still looking at Keishin with those big shocked eyes of his, like he can’t quite believe what he’s seeing; and he’s so fucking _cute_ Keishin can feel his teeth grind together.

“It’s not even that good. I, uh. I’m not exactly a stellar cook.”

“I’m sure it’s lovely. But – are you sure you want to be here, though? I don’t think I’m contagious anymore, but –”

Keishin just shrugs, and sets the pot down on the counter, careful to not scrape it.

“I’ll take my chances. You, um – do you want some of this, or should I put it in the fridge?”

Takeda’s still just kind of staring at him, though; and Keishin has a sudden thought that makes his stomach turn over.

“Unless, uh. You don’t want me here? I know I – when I’m sick, I tend to want to be alone, so – I can go, if –”

“No, no, I –”

Takeda cuts himself off, though; and Keishin stares at him as he steps forward, and puts a hand on the damn soup pot, right next to Keishin’s. Keishin is very aware of how warm his face feels.

“Stay. Please. If you want to.”

He’s smiling, a bit, as he looks up at him; and Keishin swallows, and manages a nod. Feels whatever air he had left get sucked out of his lungs when Takada’s smile widens even further.

Shit. Shit, Keishin is so _gone_ over this man.

“I, um. I have a gaming system, if you’d like to play? If not, that’s fine, of course – it’s just kind of how I’ve been amusing myself over the last few days, so everything’s already set-up –”

“You’re a gamer?”

He wants to smack himself the second it’s out – god, could he sound like any more of a _nerd_ – but Takeda’s looking even more pleased, so maybe it’s okay. Maybe Keishin hasn’t messed his up.

“Darn right. Mario Kart okay?”

It’s said with just the cutest hint of a challenge – just the tiniest hint of a smirk, underneath all that bedhead and bright-eyed cuteness – and, god, Keishin wants to kiss the smirk right off his face.

“Bring it on, sensei.”

He’s not sure how he gets it out. Can hear how horribly breathless he sounds.

Takeda, thankfully, doesn’t seem to notice, because he just laughs and heads for the living room, trailing the blanket behind as he goes; and Keishin takes a breath, his knees shaky as he follows.

 

           

\- - -

The next two weeks do nothing to help his situation.

Takeda plows through the soup in the space of only about two days, and seems genuine about it when he thanks Keishin, and tells him how yummy it was. Then, he starts coming back to games, just as sweet and cheerful as always, and Keishin tries to not notice how practices feel _right,_ again. And then there’s the night, after practice, when Takeda asks him if he can take him out for dinner, to say thank you for the soup. They don’t go anywhere fancy – mainly because Keishin protests the idea of Takeda wasting his money on him – but later that night finds them hiding at a bus stop, damn near huddling together in the corner of the shelter as the rain slams down all around them. The air is freezing, and there’s no one else there with them, and they probably don’t _need_ to be this close; but Takeda had leaned up against the wall, right next to Keishin, and Keishin certainly hadn’t tried to move away.

“Gosh. We may drown before we get home.”

He’s staring out into the darkness, and his hair is a soaked mess on his head, and he’s got rain on his glasses and all down his cheeks; and Keishin knows that he’s staring. Staring, helplessly, like the lovesick idiot he is; and all he can do is close his eyes and lean back against the shelter wall, his hands suddenly sweating, even in the cold air.

He’s gone. He’s so far gone over this man.

He’d sat across from him, tonight, as they’d eaten their noodles and talked about the team, and talked about their favourite games, and talked about anything and everything as though being together was the most natural thing in the world – and every time Takeda had smiled at him, or laughed at one of his jokes, Keishin’s stomach had jolted, making it pretty much impossible to breathe.

He’s going to ruin this. Takeda is the closest friend he has, and Keishin is going to ruin this.

“Ukai-kun?”

Takeda’s voice is soft, and maybe a bit worried. Keishin manages to get his eyes open, and then forces a smile, because Takeda is definitely looking concerned, and Keishin can’t deal with that.

“Sorry. Just… thinking about work.”

It’s a lie. Great. Now he’s lying to his friend. But what else is he supposed to say?

“Are you still working both jobs, then?”

He still sounds concerned, and Keishin licks his lips, his mouth suddenly gone dry.

“I – yeah. Farm in the morning, and then the shop during the day.”

“And then practice afterwards.”

It’s not quite a question, and Keishin nods. Watches as Takeda stares at him, and then bites his lip, his gaze dropping down to around their feet.

“I’m sorry if I’ve made your life more exhausting.”

It takes a second to process. Then, Keishin takes a deep breath, his face feeling really hot.

Shit. Shit shit _shit_ , he is _so_ not ready for this conversation.

“You didn’t –”

“I know you like coaching those boys. And I know you care about them, and want them to do well.”

“Sensei –”

“But I’m – even with that – I’m sorry if I’ve made things more… complicated, for you. You were probably already exhausted, and already overworked, and then I went and – I mean, I _had_ to keep trying, because those boys need you, but - but I'm still sorry if -”

He stops, though, because Keishin’s hand is on his elbow.

He’s not quite sure when that happened, but he can’t move it away. Not with Takeda staring up at him like that, his eyes wide and rain all down his face; and he just looks so goddamn _earnest_ , like he actually really truly _cares_ about Keishin, and - god, Keishin might actually be in love with this man.

And he might as well stop denying it.

He wants to make pancakes with him in the morning, and stay up late playing video games together. He wants to curl up with him in the bathtub and snuggle up around him until the water goes cold.

And he wants to stop being scared of how much he wants this.

He wants to strip Takeda out of his clothes and hold on tight – and Keishin’s maybe still a bit scared of wanting that, sure, but he wants Takeda more than he’s scared of it – and then he wants to bundle him up in Keishin’s too-large clothes, and maybe break out the sketchpad he hasn’t touched in years and try to draw him, and – he wants _everything_ that he shouldn’t want, things that would likely scare Takeda away, and it’s _terrifying._

“Ukai-kun?”

Takeda’s looking concerned again – all wide-eyed and worried – and Keishin takes a breath.

Now is not the time to think about all that. Right now, he needs to make sure Takeda doesn’t feel guilty.

“Are you okay? You’re looking a bit, um –”

“Sensei, I – okay, look, you didn’t – I love being their coach, okay?”

It sounds horribly honest, even to his own ears. And he has to take another breath before he keeps going; because Takeda’s looking almost shocked, now, and it makes Keishin’s stomach hurt.

“I do. I really do. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. You were the one dragged me kicking and screaming into this, yes, and… and I honestly truly can’t thank you enough for that.”

For a second, Takeda just stands there and stares up at him; and Keishin is aware of just how vulnerable he feels. Then, Takeda goes even pinker, and his answering smile is almost… shy?

“Thank you, Ukai-kun. For everything. I… I’m very glad to hear that, and we’re lucky to have you.”

“Damn right you are. Famous Ukai name, and all that.”

He’s not even sure how he gets it out. His heart feels like it’s crawled up into his throat.

But it gets a laugh from Takeda, and his shoulder bumps Keishin’s as he leans against the wall beside him, still looking flushed and shy and just all-around _happy_ ; and Keishin leans back, too, closing his eyes at the way they’re pressed together, now, from hip to elbow to shoulder, and –

Yeah. It doesn’t matter if he’s in love. It would be pointless, anyway.

He’s found an honest friend in this man – he's stumbled into Takeda’s life by complete chance, thanks to Takeda’s unwillingness to give up on the students he cares so much about – and Keishin really needs to not ruin this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone for all the encouragement and kind feedback. Tis very much appreciated. :)

His plan to not ruin things further derails a couple of nights later, though.

He doesn’t even mean to. It’s close to midnight, but the room is still stuffy; and he’s lying on his bed in just his boxers – at least he has the ceiling fan – and he only realizes that his hand is inching downward when he’s already gritting his teeth and stopping himself, squeezing his eyes shut.

He’s thought about this, before. Thought about it, and then dismissed it as a very bad idea. He already has enough trouble being around Takeda. He won’t be able to look at him at all if he does this.

And yet… here he is.

And his dick’s already pressing against his boxers when he slides his fingers along the top of them, just barely dipping underneath, and his face flushing so hot it actually fucking hurts.

Alright. Apparently he’s doing this.

And even the shame of it isn’t enough to stop him from pushing his boxers off completely, and then reaching for the bottle by his bed. The damp slide of his own fingers is familiar, and comforting, and… and a lot hotter than it should be, probably, with Takeda’s smiling face in mind.

Shit. Shit, he’s in _so_ much trouble.

It doesn’t stop him, though. And if he comes thinking about Takeda pushing him down on the bed and kissing him until Keishin can barely breathe, well – nobody else ever needs to know. Nobody else ever _will_ know, period. Certainly not Takeda. Keishin’s long gotten over the shame of jerking off over a guy, but jerking off over a friend is something new, and… Keishin’s just going to have to live with himself, and figure out how to keep looking Takeda in the eye from now on.

He feels like shit, though; and he grabs some tissues, wipes off his hands, and then curls on to his side, closing his eyes.

Some fucking friend he is.

\- - -

And the thing is, too – he has no idea how Takeda thinks of him.

Sure, he’s a friend. He knows that. Takeda willingly spends time with him, even outside of the gym. But it’s _Takeda_. Takeda, everyone’s favourite teacher, with the constant optimism and cheerful smile. He probably has plenty of friends. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with him?

And it’s not that Keishin is jealous. He’s really not. He’s got other friends, too. By some miracle, he’s somehow managed to stay in touch with Yūsuke and Makoto ever since high school ended; and, even with how busy he is, he’s still been managing to meet up with them and Hidenori and Yukinari on a pretty regular basis, for games and then drinks afterwards.

But he’s just … he’s never had a thing for any of them. And that makes this completely different.

And he’s not sure when he started depending on Takeda so much, either. When he started counting on the teacher to brighten up his days. When he started watching the door at work, hoping that he’d stop by – and he’s pretty sure that he shouldn’t need someone this much. Keishin’s always been able to take care of himself; and to suddenly have someone in his life who honestly just makes him so much happier, whenever he’s around… it’s a little bit scary.

Hell, who is he kidding. The whole thing is scary.

And then he just goes and makes it scarier by inviting Takeda over to his place.

It’s a Friday night. A couple of days, too, since the masturbation incident that he’s been doing his best to not think about. And he should probably just spend the night alone, the way he always does.

By some miracle, though, he doesn’t even have a shift tomorrow. He’s already had a couple of drinks, and the rest of his twenty-four pack is sitting in his kitchen, with a bunch of them already getting cold in the fridge. And he only spends about ten minutes drinking his beer and staring around his empty apartment – when did it start feeling empty? – before he picks up his phone.

_You up to anything tonight?_

He regrets it the moment he sends it, of course. Damn near knocks his beer over as he gets to his feet, and then picks up his phone again, his heart starting to slam really fucking hard in his chest.

_I mean ya probably have stuff to do cause it’s a Friday night and all but if you’re free and wanna wander over I have beer and my playstation and so… yeah. I’ll be here, if you’re interested._

Stupid. He’s being so stupid. It’s a Friday night. Of course Takeda has better things to do.

And he’s still gritting his teeth when he opens up his phone again.

_That’s sweet of you, Ukai-kun. I’d love some company, actually. What’s your address? :)_

He stares at it. Stares at it, suddenly feeling almost sick – oh, god, what is he _doing?_ – and then he types his address, and sends it, and swigs down the rest of his beer, and scrambles to his feet.

He needs to clean this place. Before Takeda gets here, he _really_ needs to clean this place.

Shit shit shit what was he _thinking._

It’s too late, though. The damage has already been done.

And at the very fucking least he needs to make sure that all the empty take-out boxes are gone.

\- - -

The apartment is mostly tidy, at least, by the time Takeda gets there – he’s cleaned up the empty boxes and beer cans, and emptied out the cigarette tray, and hauled all the garbage bags outside – but that’s really only the saving grace of the whole situation.

Because Takeda’s beaming when he opens the door, just looking so _happy_ to be here – and he’s holding a bottle of wine in one hand, and balancing Keishin’s soup pot in the other, and he’s down to jeans and a fucking green v-neck sweater that clings to every inch of him and holy _shit_ . If Keishin had thought the suits were bad, that was _nothing_ to this casual Friday night get-up.

It’s not the clothes, though. He gets it, suddenly, as Takeda stands there and grins at him. Hell, Takeda could wear the ugliest clothes on earth, and Keishin would still think he was sex on legs.

It’s that Takeda looks relaxed, maybe. That’s more what it is, than anything else. Like Keishin’s seeing a side of him that he hasn’t seen before. Even when he’s dressed down for practice, he’s still, somehow, always so well put together – other than that one time Keishin had been at his apartment, but he’d been tired and sick and Keishin hadn’t been lusting after him then, no matter how cute he’d been in his pyjamas – and now he just looks… relaxed. Relaxed, and happy, and like he wants the same thing Keishin does, maybe – to just spend his Friday night with someone who cares about him – and good _god_ Keishin needs to stop staring, because he’s basically just making Takeda stand in the doorway, now, and Takeda’s smile is starting to slip.

“Ukai-kun? May I, um… come in?”

It sounds almost a little hesitant, suddenly; and Keishin wants to punch himself.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, he is such an _idiot._

“Yeah, sorry, of course – um, come on in.”

The words feel a little thick on his tongue – and, sure, he’s had a few beers, but he knows damn well that that’s not why – and Takeda’s smile is still maybe a bit unsure as he steps inside. Steps inside and just stands there, like he doesn’t know what to do next; and it’s awkward, crushingly awkward, at least as far as Keishin can tell, and he doesn’t know _why_ – but he does know, though, that he’s standing way too close; and he closes the door behind Takeda and steps away.

“Wow. Can’t believe I’ve never been here before.”

He’s still holding the wine, and he’s looking around; and Keishin is aware, suddenly, of how small his apartment is. Everything’s in this one room – the bed, and the kitchen area, and his TV, and the old couch that he’d just recently dragged in; and it’s not _small_ , per say, he’s always had enough room, but… he just feels… the room _does_ feel too small, suddenly. Small, and probably pretty gaudy, with all his posters and the ratty old blanket on his bed, and – he’s never been self-conscious of it before, though; and he swallows and reaches out to take the wine and then the soup pot, careful to not let their fingers touch.

Takeda’s probably not going to give a shit about his apartment. It’s only Keishin who’s being an idiot.

“Yeah, I mean – it’s not much, but it’s home, ya know? Found this place a few years ago, and just kind of… never left. Only me here, so it’s not like I need more space, right?”

He wants to punch himself, immediately, again – god, he’s only had three beers, he has no reason to be _babbling_ like this – but Takeda just looks at him for a moment, and then he smiles and takes his shoes off and steps further into the room, like it’s the most natural thing for him to do.

“I understand that. I had a place like this, too. Before I got my teaching position. Still miss it, sometimes. It wasn’t much, but – well, like you said, it was home. And it looks like you have your priorities settled, too.”

He’s grinning at Keishin’s gaming corner, while he says it – several systems, a couch to sit on, and a whole pile of games to choose from – and Keishin can feel a bit of the tension drain out of him, because – of course Takeda doesn’t care about Keishin’s shitty apartment. Why was he even worried?

“Yeah, well – you might change your mind after you sit on the couch. It’s kind of…”

“Worn in?”

“I was going to say ‘horribly uncomfortable’, but, yeah, that works, too.”

“Well, the floor’s good, then. You know, this is exciting, actually. I can’t remember the last time I got drunk and lied around and played video games. Kind of like being a teenager all over again.”

He’s grinning, as he says it – bright-eyed and sincere, like he actually _means_ it; like there’s nothing he’d rather be doing with his Friday night than this, right here – and Keishin knows that he’s staring. He can’t help it, though. He feels like someone’s reached into his chest and squeezed.

He’s in love. Yeah, he’s definitely in love.

“I – I’m going to – put the wine in the – want any snacks? I have snacks. Chips, and –”

Takeda’s frowning, though. Looking a bit confused. And the sudden burn of guilt is awful.

He’s screwing this up. He should have known he would screw this up.

“Did I… say something? You – you’re looking a little –”

“No, _no,_ god, no – I’m excited about this, too. It’s – like you said. Kinda fun to pretend to be a teenager again, right?”

Takeda still doesn’t look convinced, but Keishin needs a breather. There’s nowhere in the apartment to go, but he can – he can go deal with the wine, at least. Turns and takes the wine and the damn soup pot to the kitchen area, and puts the pot on the counter and puts the wine in the fridge and then finds a beer and opens it and takes a deep swig of it, and – Takeda’s turned away to look at his collection of games, and Keishin closes his eyes and rests his head on the fridge.

This was an awful idea, and now he’s trapped himself here all evening, with this horrible new awareness of just how _gone_ he definitely is, but – none of that’s Takeda’s fault. And the last thing Keishin wants is to make him feel bad about anything. He really doesn’t want to see that unsure look on his face. Just because Keishin is an idiot, that’s no reason to wreck this. If Takeda wants an evening to act like a teenager, then Keishin is damn well going to make that happen for him.

And he takes the time to drink some more beer and steady himself before he fetches another beer out of the fridge, grabs a bag of chips out of the cupboard, and then crosses the room and sits carefully down next to Takeda, who’s settled in front of the couch, looking a bit hesitant, still, and – Keishin can do this. He can pretend that that being so close to him isn’t making him ache.

“Aright, then, sensei. You a beer guy, too, or you wanna wait for that wine?”

Takeda’s already shaking his head, though, and holding out his hand; and Keishin can’t help but laugh as he hands him the bottle, and then drops the chips down between them, and reaches forward to hit the power buttons. Picks up the controller and then leans back against the couch, his stomach flipping at Takeda’s little laugh when the Mario Kart menu appears on the screen.

“You’re looking for more punishment, then?”

It’s a bit teasing, maybe, but there’s still a hint of hesitance there – because Takeda is far from an idiot, and there’d have probably been no way to miss the way Keishin had frozen up earlier – and Keishin swallows as he hands Takeda the other controller, careful, again, to not touch his fingers.

“Hardly. This is my turn to get even.”

“Ukai-kun, um, as endearing as that fighting spirit is, last time I was sick, and I _still_ –”

“I am well aware that you kicked my ass, believe me.”

He manages to make it sound desert dry, somehow, even with how hard his chest is aching, everything inside him getting all twisted up as Takeda ducks his head on an almost shy little smile, looking a bit more at ease, now, and – he can do this. He can fake his way through this.

It’s not like he has much of a choice, after all.

And all his own internal bullshit aside, Takeda’s chosen to spend his Friday evening with him; and Keishin is damn well going to do his best to make sure that Takeda has a good time tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't stop writing these two oh my gosh. <3
> 
> Also, thank you again to everyone for all the lovely feedback. I'm so excited to finally be writing something in this fandom. :)

A couple of hours later finds the tension between them pretty much gone – as far as Keishin can tell, anyway – and they’re sprawled against the couch, grinning, with the screen blinking at them; and, all internal crises aside, Keishin’s very aware that he’s definitely grinning like an idiot.

Finally. _Finally_ , he’s actually won a damn race.

“I actually did it.”

“You did.”

_“Finally.”_

“Maybe you’ve just been out of practice? That was a pretty impressive comeback, you know.”

“Well, it _had_ been years since I played this, after all.”

“Hmm. We should do this more often, then.”

Takeda’s voice is soft, and he’s still smiling, leaning against the couch with his eyes closed; and Keishin knows that he’s staring, again. Everything’s a bit fuzzy, and he _knows_ that he shouldn’t be staring – but he is. Takeda can’t see him with his eyes closed, after all. And then there’s a buzzing sound and Takeda makes an unimpressed little noise as he opens his eyes; and Keishin immediately looks away, though he can see Takeda pulling out his phone out of the corner of his eye. Watches as he blinks at it, and then sighs, his fingers looking a bit unsteady on the keys.

“Sorry. I need to – a friend’s been trying to set me up with someone, and I just realized I never responded.”

And, just like that, it’s like Keishin can feel all the tension come crawling back through him.

Can feel every little stupid hurt feeling in his chest flare to life all at once.

Fuck. _Fuck._

He needs to get over this. He _really_ needs to move on.

“I mean, I’ve kind of, um, been single for pretty much forever, and my friend’s just trying to help, so I should really –”

“Well, what’s the harm in trying, then, right?”

And – why is he even _talking?_ Why is he encouraging this?

But, hell, what kind of friend would he be if he tried to talk him out of it? Just because Keishin is a lovesick loser, he’s certainly not enough of an asshole to try to talk Takeda out of something that might make him happy, and – Takeda’s sigh stops the train of thought, as he sets the phone down and leans against the couch. He doesn’t close his eyes, though, as he frowns, like he’s thinking it over, and – god, Keishin really, _really_ doesn’t want to have this conversation. He wants to just go back to playing Mario Kart. Shit, everything had been _fine_ a minute ago, and –

He has _no_ right to feel this hurt, though. None at all. No right to be even the slightest bit upset.

His chest is really, really tight, though, and his stomach feels a bit sick.

God, some friend he is.

“I don’t know. Just… maybe I’ve gotten used to being alone, or… or something. I just…”

“Well, she could be a sweetheart, though. Ya never know. Might even put up with your shitty taste in booze.”

He’s not sure how he gets it out, but he does, at least. And he knows that his smile probably looks forced, but he manages it, somehow, and – maybe it will make Takeda laugh. They’d been laughing, earlier, at least, when Keishin had tried a sip of Takeda’s wine and then made a face that had Takeda giggling like Keishin’s reaction was one of the funniest things he’d ever seen.

And Keishin wants to go back to that. He wants them to just laugh this off and go back to playing their damn video games so that he can deal with his own stupid horrible feelings _later._

Takeda’s not laughing, though. In fact, he’s frowning, like Keishin’s said something confusing.

“She… sorry, what?”

And – Keishin opens his mouth, and then closes it again. He’d thought it was funny, at least? But maybe he’s drunker than he thought, and it hadn’t actually been funny? God, he can be so stupid.

“I just… I said that she might even put up with your, um – taste in booze? Cause, uh – okay, I know you like that wine, and all, but I’ll take beer any day, man. No offence, though.”

Takeda’s still just staring at him, though. Staring, and then he opens his mouth, like he’s going to say something – ends up closing his mouth and frowning down at his hands, instead; and Keishin has no idea what’s happening, but he knows that Takeda’s not happy, suddenly, and he _hates_ it.

“Sensei…”

“I’m, uh – I’m gay, actually. I – sorry, Ukai-kun. I… I thought you knew.”

For a second, it doesn’t process.

Then, every inch of Keishin’s body suddenly feels really, really warm.

Oh.

Oh, _god._

“I - I mean, it’s not something I try to hide... everyone at school knows, at least. I’ve never really gotten much flak over it, and the ones who have given me trouble are all jerks, anyway.”

It sounds like an attempt at humour. The brittle little smile ruins it, though.

And Keishin can’t stop staring at him.

All this time – all their nights out, all the time they’ve spent together – how had he not known?

“Does this, um. Does this… change things?”

Takeda’s not looking at him, still. He looks kind of small, suddenly, curled up against Keishin’s couch. And Keishin opens his mouth, but nothing comes out – and then he watches Takeda’s lips press together, before he sighs and stands up, and – Keishin just barely stops himself from grabbing him. Stumbles up and puts a hand on his arm, his heart suddenly beating really hard.

 _“No._ No – shit, I’m sorry. No. It doesn’t… it doesn’t change things, okay?”

Takeda’s still looking a bit unsure, though, not quite looking at him; and Keishin takes a breath.

“Look, I –”

“Are you sure? Because, um, some guys get weird when they find out –”

“Sensei, I don’t _care,_ alright? I really don’t. You just… surprised me, okay?”

For a second, Takeda doesn’t react, and Keishin can’t seem to breathe.

Then, Takeda’s lips twitch, and he finally looks at him, and – oh, god. There’s no mistaking the gratitude there; and Keishin wants to find anyone who’s ever hurt this man and kick their ass.

“I, um – I’m very glad to hear that, Ukai-kun. I would have hated to lose your friendship.”

It’s soft, and sounds almost painfully earnest; but Takeda blushes as soon as he says it, though – suddenly looks embarrassed, like he maybe hadn’t meant to be quite so honest – and Keishin grits his teeth, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around Takeda and keep him safe from everything.

He’s in love with man. He’s _so_ in love with him.

“You – you kidding me? Who else is gonna kick my ass at Mario Kart?”

He barely manages to say it – it feels like his heart’s up into his throat – but it’s worth it when Takeda stares at him, and then smiles, though it looks kind of soft, and his cheeks are still pink.

“Thank you, Ukai-kun. Who, indeed. You up for another round, then?”

“Damn right I am. Still – still gotta redeem myself some more, after all.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. From where I’m standing, seems like you don’t have a damn thing to redeem yourself for.”

His voice is still soft, and he’s still smiling in that horribly sweet little way, and – oh. Right. They’re not talking about Mario Kart, anymore, are they? And Keishin can feel the heat flush up his face, even as he drops his gaze and rubs at the back of his head, suddenly feeling a bit shaky.

“I – shit, Takeda, it’s okay, really –”

“I mean it, though. But I think I’m embarrassing you, so –”

“You’re _not,_ okay – it’s okay, I just –”

“Thank you, though. Truly. Perhaps I could demonstrate my gratitude by letting you win again?”

For a second, Keishin can’t do anything but gape at him.

Then, he growls and takes his hands away – shit, he’d still had his hands on Takeda’s arms; and he _really_ needs to not think about that for long; he really needs to not think about _anything,_ right now, because it’s all way, way too much  – and sits back down on the floor, reaching for the controller; and he feels his stomach flutter when Takeda laughs and sits back down, too, grinning sideways at him and looking just as happy as he’d been when he’d first walked through the door.

"I’m kidding, of course. You beat me fair and square last time.”

“Of course I did. I’m not _completely_ hopeless at this, you know.”

His voice still doesn’t sound right, but – he can sort through all his shit later. Right now, he needs to just… focus on this damn game, and not think about the little spark of hope in his chest.

Just because Takeda is gay, it doesn’t mean he’s interested in Keishin. That’s not how it works.

And Keishin needs to remember that, and not get his hopes up.

But… but still. There’s just that tiny flicker of hope. And he sucks in a breath, tightening his hold on the controller, and - he just needs to keep it together until Takeda goes home. Just a few more hours, and then Keishin can have his meltdown in peace.

“Hmm, apparently not. Shall we give rainbow road a try, then?”

“Well, someone’s feeling cocky, suddenly.”

He can still hear the shake there, and his throat only gets tighter when Takeda stares at him, and then leans back against the couch and closes his eyes, the tiniest hint of a smile still on his face, and – god, he’s beautiful.

“Mmm, no, not really, just… just happy, you know?”

It’s really, really soft, and sounds almost sleepy; and Keishin just keeps staring at him.

He should make a joke, probably. Happy and drunk, more like. He should maybe try to laugh this off.

He doesn’t want to, though. He wants this moment to last.

“Yeah, sensei. Yeah, I know.”

His voice is almost as soft as Takeda’s; and when Takeda opens his eyes to smile at him, Keishin can’t help but smile back, even though he only lasts a moment before he has to look down at his hands.

Happy. Yeah, that’s definitely what he’s feeling, here, too.

Because this shouldn’t change anything for him, it really shouldn’t, but – maybe just for a bit, he can let himself hope.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, thank you so much for all the kind feedback, oh my gosh. Ya'll are the best, seriously. :) <3

After that night, though, he lets that hope fade out just as quickly as he’d let it in.

Because as soon as he sobers up – that next morning, while he’s lying in his bed with a couple of ice packs pressed to his temples and his neck – he remembers, very clearly, that even if Takeda is gay, that doesn’t mean that he would be interested in Keishin; and it’s not worth the risk. It’s just not.

Keishin has found someone who wants to waste Friday nights with him, and he’s not going to do anything to jeopardize that.

And the rest of the evening had, indeed, been lovely. They’d spent another couple hours drinking and playing that stupid game – and if Keishin, maybe, hadn’t won a single race after that, he’s going to blame the booze, and the fact that he was maybe a bit distracted – and then Takeda had thanked him for a lovely evening – his eyes glazed, and his face flushed, and still with that sweet smile on his face – and then he’d taken a taxi home, since he was in no state to navigate the bus system.

After that, Keishin had passed out. It was either that or have a slight breakdown, and being unconscious had sounded a hell of a lot better.

He hasn’t seen Takeda since that night, either. It’s been three days, and Takeda’s been too busy to make it to practice – trying everything he can to figure out how to get them all to Tokyo on a budget that they can afford – but Keishin’s had some texts from him, and they’d seemed normal enough. He’s pretty sure that’s a good thing. At least Takeda doesn’t seem to regret telling him.

It can’t change anything, though. Not for Keishin. He’s been pretty good about keeping it together, though. He just needs to quietly deal with this on his own, and never let Takeda find out.

And the thought’s barely processed, sitting heavy in his stomach, before he hears the store door open, and he looks up, and –

Oh.

Just like that, his heart is in his throat, and his face feels too warm.

He’d thought he had this under control. He’d thought he was dealing with it.

He wasn’t. Oh, god, he _really_ wasn’t.

“Hi.”

Takeda’s voice seems a bit soft, and he’s biting his lip, looking almost shy as he smiles at him, and – Keishin sucks in a breath, everything inside him suddenly feeling way, way too shaky.

No. No, he’s not – nothing’s changed. He’s not allowed to get his hopes up.

“Uh, hi.”

It’s not much of a response. And Takeda’s still standing in the doorway, smiling at him, and he _does_ look shy, maybe, and – Keishin realizes he’s gripping the counter, and tries to ease off.

“You, um –”

That’s it, though, apparently. It’s like his brain’s stopped working. And he barely has time for the surge of complete _panic_ before Takeda grins a bit more and closes the distance between them. Keishin can’t do anything but stare, his heart stuttering wildly and good lord he needs to _breathe._

“I, uh. Wanted to thank you, for the other night.”

“I – I already said, it’s fine, it’s –”

“No, not for – well, that too. For being – understanding, about everything. But also just for – it was fun, you know?”

He’s still smiling, and Keishin brain is definitely offline. It doesn’t help when Takeda folds his hands on top of the counter, so cute about it that it actually makes Keishin’s fingers twitch, and – he realizes, suddenly, that he’s staring at Takeda’s lips; and he jerks his gaze up so quickly it’s a wonder he doesn’t give himself whiplash, even as Takeda smiles and bites his damn lip again.

He’s back in one of those horribly fancy suits of his, too. Keishin wants to strip it right off him.

“I mean, that was probably the most fun I’ve had in a while, actually. I think I might need to stop spending my Friday nights marking papers. Productive, sure, but not nearly as fun.”

“Any time. You’re welcome any time.”

He sounds like he’s been crawling around in a goddamn desert. Takeda, mercifully, doesn’t seem to hear it, because he grins at him like it’s the best thing he’s heard all week.

“Awesome! Thank you. Oh, and, speaking of awesome – our intrepid new manager-in-training came up with a plan to get us to Tokyo. We got some donations. We can finally afford the trip.”

For a second, it doesn’t process. He’s a little too distracted watching Takeda smile.

Then, the tension in Keishin’s stomach eases just a bit, and he feels his own lips twitch.

“Wait, seriously?”

“Mmhmm. A whole week in Tokyo – I can’t believe it. And, heck, if I’m this excited, then I imagine that those boys are going to be over the moon. They’ll need to pass their exams, but –”

“Well, with this kind of motivation, I’m guessing they’ll do everything they can.”

“Yeah, I think so, too.”

He’s still looking pretty pleased about everything, but Keishin barely has time to start staring at him like an idiot before Takeda’s down glancing at his watch and stepping back with a sigh.

“Anyways, I should go get some marking done. Don’t work too hard, alright?”

It’s said with another of those horribly sweet little smiles – like Takeda really truly _cares_ about him; like he wants Keishin to take care of himself – and Keishin can’t manage anything more than a stupid nod; but it must be enough, because Takeda gives Keishin one last smile before he walks out the door, and – the shop is suddenly very empty, and Keishin finds himself sitting down in the chair behind the till. Hovers there, for a second, and then puts his face in his hands.

So bad. He’s got it so bad.

And he’s not going to be hopeful about this. Just because Takeda is gay – and just because that, yes, it’s been established that he likes being around Keishin – it doesn’t mean that Takeda _wants_  him.

… But maybe he could, though.

Maybe Takeda could fall for him, too, if Keishin ever let him know that it was okay. If Keishin could stop being a coward and kick his way out of the closet, finally.

Maybe it’s about time he finally took that risk.

The thought sends a low chill across him – taps into nerves, suddenly, that he thought he’d long gotten over – and he swallows as he gets to his feet, reaching for his apron and broom, because – alright, he’s not going to fix this right now. Maybe cleaning something will help calm him down.

\- - -

It doesn’t calm him down. In fact, _nothing_ calms him down.

Because it hits him, later that night, that they’re leaving for Tokyo in two days.

Fuck.

 _Fuck._  

He’s a grown-ass adult, for fuck’s sake. He shouldn’t be this terrified about spending a week in Tokyo with Takeda.

He is, though. Even when there’s no one around but him, he’s still so damn jittery it’s enough to embarrass _himself._

And when Takeda spends the next few days being even nicer to him than normal – which Keishin hadn’t even realized was possible; but it’s like Takeda’s become that much more comfortable around him, and Keishin is possibly going to pass out and _die_ if Takeda puts a hand on his arm _one more time_ , holy shit – and just – yeah. He’s in so much trouble. And the night before the trip finds him lying awake and staring at the ceiling, his heart hammering in his chest.

He’s twenty-six years old, and he’s so nervous he might as well be sixteen.

And, at the same time, it’s like his libido has also suddenly realized that he’s going to be living out every horribly cliché hotel sharing fantasy he’s ever had, and, god, what is _wrong_ with him, he’s _so_ fucking –

But… what if they have to share a room, though?

The thought swoops low through his stomach, sending a rush of nerves through him; and he sucks in a breath and curls up on his side, gritting his teeth as he grabs at his pillow and holds on.

He’s an adult. He’s not sixteen. He’s just going to have to get both his heart and his dick to calm down. He’s a grown-ass adult who knows how to deal with shit, and he can get through this.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so there shall be a sliiight divergence from the anime canon, since I wrote the next three chapters before S2E05 happened... baaasically, in this fic it's a week-long trip to Tokyo, instead of just an overnight one; and, also, the teachers and coaches are all staying in a hotel. :)

He was wrong. He’s not going to get through this.

The trip to Tokyo is bad enough, with Takeda sitting right beside him on the bus. Turns out that he’s a big adorable nerd who brought a travel chess set, and he spends the trip trying to teach Keishin how to play. It involves a lot of leaning over the board together, and Keishin spends the trip feeling so hot in the face it’s probably a damn miracle that Takeda somehow doesn’t notice.

He ends up thinking, too – once the game is done, and Takeda’s dozing against the window, looking terribly cute about it – about something that he’s never really realized, before, but – it shouldn’t be this _easy,_ being around Takeda. They’re from different worlds, really – sure, the age gap is relatively small; but Takeda went to school, and he’s crazy smart about academic things; whereas Keishin never went further than high school, but he’s good at fixing things, and he damn well knows how to work until he drops, and – it’s not like they even have that much in _common,_ really. There’s a bit, sure – the gaming, and the shared appreciation for good food, and their oddly similar sense of humour, and the fact that they’d both do just about anything to help the team – but it’s not like Keishin knows the fancy books that Takeda does, and it’s not like Takeda knows how to run a farm the way Keishin can. They’re from different worlds, really, and it shouldn’t be so _easy._

It is, though. It’s incredibly easy.

And maybe part of it is that Takeda’s just one of the nicest people he’s ever known. Even if they’re from different worlds, it’s like he doesn’t seem to care. He still seems genuinely fond of like Keishin. Like it maybe doesn’t have to be a bad thing that they’re both very different people.

Hell, if anything – if they ever did get together – maybe they’d balance each other out, and be able to combine their varied knowledge, and just… maybe they’d be good for each other.

It’s a dangerous, dangerous thought, though, and Keishin swallows, and tries to not think about it, even as it hits him, anew, just how adorable Takeda is; and then the bus goes over a bump, and he watches as Takeda’s head jolts against the window, though he doesn’t wake up, and – now that Keishin’s noticed that it’s happening, it’s like he can’t _stop._ And Keishin barely makes it through a minute of watching Takeda’s head jolt against the glass before he nudges him awake, and – against all sane, rational judgement – grits his teeth and leans his shoulder over, instead.

“Pretty sure you might be a bit more comfortable sleeping on my shoulder, sensei.”

It’s a horrible idea. It’s one of the worst ideas he’s ever had. He must have a really deep and hitherto undiscovered masochistic streak.

But it’s worth it when Takeda stares at him – and, for a second, there’s something there that Keishin can’t read at all; and it makes his stomach jolt, somehow – and then Takeda’s expression seems to clear, and he gives him one of his sweetest smiles yet, and just kind of… takes him up on the offer. Curls up against him with a murmur of thanks, and then closes his eyes, so sweet and trusting about it, like this is something that they just _do;_ and it only takes about a minute for Keishin to realizes that he’s going to spend the entire trip stuck between holy-shit-I-love-this-dude, and being so turned on that even the bus bathroom is sounding like a good jerk-off location.

God. He’s so, so fucked.

And – after a few more minutes of Takeda breathing softly, right against him – Keishin ends up more or less just closing his eyes and digging his fingers into the bus seat, a new wave of horrible nerves shooting through him, because – shit, he _really_ hopes they’re not sharing a room.

Maybe it makes for a great fantasy – but as far as reality goes, he might not be able to deal with that.

\- - -

They’re sharing a room.

Of course they are.

For a long, horrible moment, he just stands in the doorway and stares.

Takeda’s already moving – dropping his bag on the floor, and pulling open the window curtain – but even the gorgeous view can’t unfreeze Keishin from where he’s gotten stuck to the floor. There are two beds, but they’re very close together, and he’s probably not going to survive this.

“Oh, wow. I didn’t expect the view to be quite _this_ nice. That’s honestly gorgeous.”

It is, too. Maybe it’s the novelty of it, but all the lights and the skyscrapers are gorgeous.

That’s _really_ not his main concern right now, though, but – Takeda’s already turning around to smile at him, just looking so _happy_ to be here, before he grabs his bag and drops it on one of the beds – the one not closest to the window, though; because of _course_ he’d give Keishin the window view – and Keishin bites his lip and takes a deep breath, taking a second to close his eyes.

Alright, so. He’s sleeping basically right next to this man, and they’re going to be sharing a shower.

For an entire week.

He might actually not survive this.

\- - -

By day three he’s just about ready to claw off his skin.

Takeda is as polite as always, with his gentle teasing and quiet humour; and he makes sure to give Keishin plenty of space, and to keep things as proper as possible; but Keishin still gets more of him, now. He knows, now, what Takeda looks like first thing in the morning, sleepy-eyed and with the most _horribly_ cute bedhead; and he knows what he looks like in pyjamas, too – a t-shirt and shorts, it seems; and Keishin has never been so distracted by someone’s damn knees in all his life – and he knows some of the little things, too. Like the fact that Takeda always checks his phone right before he sleeps, and the fact that he’s basically incapable of having a conversation until after his morning shower, though he always manages to give Keishin a sleepy little smile.

He knows, too, what Takeda looks like fresh out of said shower – always dressed by the time he leaves the bathroom, but with his cheeks flushed and his hair damp – and if Keishin spends his own showers biting his lip and getting off to the thought of the man on the other side of the door, well – it’s better than trying to just ignore these hitherto unknown levels of sexual frustration. He feels like shit about it, sure – but it’s either that or being so flustered he’d probably give himself away.

And that’s not an option. He’d already decided that that wasn’t an option.

It’s a resolution that gets even harder to stick to when night three finds them done for the day and sitting on their beds, with Takeda in his usual shorts and a t-shirt, sitting cross-legged on top of the blankets with a pile of papers spread out all across his bed. He’s chewing on the end of his pen while he frowns down at whatever he’s marking, and his hair is messier than normal, and he’s bare from the knees down, in those damn shorts of his, and that _really_ shouldn’t be as distracting as it is – but it definitely is. And he just looks so _cute_ Keishin can feel his teeth grind.

He’s going to give himself away. He’s sitting on his own bed – his notes on the team are spread out, too, but he’s getting absolutely nowhere with them – and he’s going to give himself away.

“I wish I wasn’t so busy. I know some of these students could do better – they’re all so bright, I just _know_ they could – and I wish I had time for more one-on-one tutoring, you know? I just don’t, though.”

He sounds genuinely unhappy about it – as though he’s not the teacher who already gives everything he has to his students – and Keishin might need to sit on his hands, if the urge to wrap Takeda up in a hug gets any stronger.

“Sensei, I’m pretty sure there’s no teacher alive who tries so hard for his students, so –”

“Yes, well, this from the man who works two jobs and still manages to coach a volleyball team.”

He’s smiling at Keishin, as he says it. That horribly fond little smile of his that Keishin can’t deal with.

And Keishin suddenly really needs to stare down at his own knees.

“Thank you, though, Ukai-kun. I really appreciate it.”

It still sounds a bit fonder than Keishin can deal with – god, if Takeda only knew what he was doing to Keishin right now – and Keishin takes a breath, still focusing very hard on his knees.

“You – you, too. Thanks, sensei.”

There’s a little hum of acknowledgement, and Takeda’s still smiling at him when Keishin gets his head back up; and Keishin, suddenly, needs to leave. When did the room get so suffocating?

“Anyways, um – I’m gonna go for a run. You need anything while I’m gone?”

“Hmm. Some tea, if you don’t mind? I’ll be working on these for a while.”

He waves a hand over his papers as he says it, and Keishin nods, and manages to get to his feet.

“Tea it is, then. I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Thank you, Ukai-kun. Don’t get lost, okay?”

“You know, you’re really not as funny as you seem to think you are.”

There’s nothing he can do about the affection in his voice, though; and Takeda just grins in a way that looks rather pleased, his nose scrunching up a bit and his eyes all but fucking sparkling; and Keishin sucks in a breath, and just barely manages a smile, before he turns and walks out. Shuts the door behind him and then closes his eyes and leans back against it, his heart slamming.

Just a minute. He’ll go for his run, but he needs to just… stand here and breathe, for a minute.

How is he meant to survive this week?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanons for this chapter, heeee: Ittetsu and Saeko have been drinking buddies for a while now; and, after their trip to Tokyo, Keishin starts joining them for those get-togethers, too. :)

The run does nothing to calm him own.

In fact, all it succeeds in doing is making him really tired, and really in need of a shower.

And Takeda’s all dressed up, by the time Keishin gets back. Showered, and out of his pyjamas, and looking all kinds of _way_ too good, with his damn wet hair, and his jeans and black sweater.

Keishin just about swallows his tongue.

“Ah, Ukai-kun! I’m glad you’re back. Tanaka-kun invited us for drinks – something about how she plans to drink Nekomata-san under the table, I believe. Think you might fancy joining us?”

For a second, Keishin honestly truly considers it. But even he’s not enough of a masochist to wander around Tokyo drunk with Takeda. It’s a disaster just waiting to happen.

Besides, he’s just… he’s tired. Tired in general, sure; but he’s also just so, _so_ tired of hiding this.

“I think I’m a bit zonked, actually. Gonna call it a night. But you guys have fun, alright?”

He manages to smile as he says it, at least; and then he just about swallows his tongue again, because – does Takeda look almost… disappointed, maybe? It’s gone almost before it’s there, though, and Takeda smiles as he pats Keishin on the shoulder and steps past him, heading for the door.

“Ah, fair enough. I’ll try not to wake you when I get back. Sweet dreams, Ukai-kun.”

“Thanks.”

He’s not sure how he gets it out. His heart’s slamming, and his shoulder’s too warm, and, god, why is his stomach hurting so badly? And then Takeda smiles and steps away and closes the door behind him; and Keishin stares at the door for a moment before he closes his eyes and just kind of sinks down onto the bed. Ends up with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

This isn’t funny, any more.

Sure, it was never really _funny_ , per say – but at least he’s been able to laugh at himself for being such an idiot. At least he’s been able to find some dark amusement in just how hopeless he’s been acting about all this. He’s a grown adult, and he’s been acting like a teenager with a crush.

It’s really not funny, though. None of it is.

There’s probably nothing funny about wanting someone, and being too scared to say anything.

And Keishin’s stomach is still aching as he climbs back to his feet and heads for the shower.

He’ll get cleaned up, and then he’ll sleep. Maybe things will seem less hopeless in the morning.

\- - -

It’s the sound of a giggle the wakes him up.

That, and what sounds like a thud, followed by a yelp; and Keishin opens his eyes to the sight of Tanaka and Takeda standing by Takeda’s bed, with Tanaka’s laugh cutting off into an obvious look of concern, as Takeda groans and rubs the knee that he seems to have slammed against the bed.

“Oh, ow, ouch, ow –”

“Shit, sensei, you okay?”

“Yes, yes I’m – stupid bed, though, just –”

Tanaka cuts him off with another giggle – the room’s not that bright, but the lights from outside are enough for Keishin to see by – even as she pats him on the shoulder, weaving like she’s about to topple; and Keishin watches as Takeda snorts out a laugh and stops rubbing his leg, and then leans down to pulls back the blankets, instead, so that Tanaka can flop down onto the bed. Watches as Takeda waits until she’s lied down; and then he tugs the blanket up over her, tucking her in; and Keishin is suddenly very awake, with his heart doing something painful in his chest.

Is this man ever not trying to take care of people?

“Oh, god, horizontal is nice. Is your leg really okay?”

“Oh, it’s – yeah, it’s nothing. I’ll get you some water, alright?”

“Mm, ka. You really are the best, sensei. We totally held our own against him, didn’t we?”

“Hmm, yes, well, somehow I think we’ll regret it tomorrow.”

He does sound pretty pleased about it, though; and Tanaka snickers again as she curls up on her side, her eyes sliding shut. For a second, Takeda just stands there, looking a little bit wobbly as he sighs and rests a hand against the wall; and then he crosses to the washroom, and there’s the sound of water running; and Keishin lets his eyes slide shut, his chest still feeling a bit too tight.

He never had a chance, probably. Takada’s one of the nicest people that Keishin’s ever been lucky enough to know. Keishin was probably screwed right from the start.

And he pretends to be asleep – Takeda would probably feel like shit about waking him, after all – as Tanaka drinks her water, and she and Takeda tease each other a bit more, and then the room gradually falls back into silence. He only lifts his head when Tanaka’s breathing evens out, but – there’s only one person on the bed. And Keishin’s suspicions are confirmed when he cranes his head to see over the side of his own bed, where Takeda has apparently elected to sleep on the floor.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

It’s barely a whisper, but it has Takeda yelping and sitting up, though he instantly grabs his head.

“Oh, _wow_ , okay, no sudden movements, then –”

“Shoot, sorry, sensei. You okay?”

He can hear the horrible fondness in his voice, though. And he wants to crawl down there and wrap Takeda up and stop anything from ever hurting him again.

“I – yeah, I’m – but those two can _really_ hold their alcohol, wow.”

He sounds a little miserable about it, and Keishin does his best to swallow a sudden grin.

Cute. _So_ fucking cute it’s unreal.

God, he loves this man.

“So I’d, um, gathered. And you know a carpet isn’t a bed, right?”

“I know, I _know_ , it’s just – Tanaka-kun’s room is on the other side of the hotel, okay, and we’re both _really_ drunk right now, alright, and this just seemed to make more sense, and –”

“Always looking out for everyone, aren’t you.”

He wants to kick himself, the second he says it – he’s going to give himself away, if he doesn’t stop sounding so _fond_ – but maybe Takeda’s too drunk to notice, because he just waves a hand.

“Oh, gosh, Tanaka-kun’s more than capable of looking out for herself. You should have seen her back in high school. Even at eighteen she was a spitfire. Seems she’s only gotten more so since.”

“You really care about your students, don’t you?”

He still sounds way too fond, but there’s nothing to be done about it. And he’s pretty sure he can see the slight blush on Takeda’s face, even as he looks down at his legs. He’s leaning against Keishin’s bed, now, and Keishin desperately wants to reach down and brush his hair out of his face.

This isn’t fair. There’s too much at risk, if he asks for more; but he’s so _tired_ of hiding this.

“I – yes, I do. It’s why I became a teacher, really. And – well, the students help me, too. I mean, any time I start feeling that… that it’s all wrong – the system, or how we groom kids for… for the real world, I guess… just, the kids stop me from getting too cynical, you know? I mean, just looking at our team... it’s pretty amazing to watch a group of people care so much about something.”

For a long moment, there’s nothing but silence.

Keishin’s heart feels like it’s crawled up into his throat.

Then, Takeda seems to realize what he’s said, because he goes even redder, suddenly looking so embarrassed it’s enough to make Keishin’s stomach hurt.

“Shoot, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to – that was, um – I’m overstepping again, probably –”

“You’re amazing.”

He doesn’t mean to say it. It’s too late, though. Too late, and the wave of vulnerability makes his skin crawl, but – maybe it’s worth it, though. Because there’s no mistaking the sudden hope on Takeda’s face, which – god, how does _Keishin_ have the ability to put that look on Takeda’s face?

"You… you really think so?”

Oh. 

Oh, _god._

Keishin can’t breathe. His face is hot and his heart is hammering and he can’t fucking _breathe._

"I – I – yeah, I do.”

He barely chokes it out. If his heart beats any harder it’s going to beat clean out of his chest.

And Takeda just stares at him, for a second, before he ducks his head on a smile that just looks so _pleased,_ his skin still bright pink and his fingers laced together in his lap as he smiles down at his hands; and Keishin takes a breath and closes his eyes, everything inside him feeling shaky.

“Yeah, sensei. Yeah, I mean it. And – and you don’t have to sleep on the floor, you know.”

For a moment, he can’t open his eyes. Then, he does, and… he has no idea what Takeda’s thinking. The pleased little smile is gone, and just… Keishin can’t tell, at all, what he’s thinking.

“I… wouldn’t make you uncomfortable?”

He’s staring up at Keishin, still completely unreadable, and Keishin swallows, hard.

Tell him.

Tell him, he needs to just _tell_ him.

All he manages, though, is a shake of his head; and Takeda stares at him a bit longer before he bites his lip and climbs off the floor, the bed dipping as he pulls back the blanket and lies down next to Keishin, and – Keishin feels a bit dizzy, almost. He’s possibly going to hyperventilate.

“Here. You – y-you – you can h-have one of my pillows.”

“Thank you.”

There’s still no hint of what he’s thinking, and Keishin gets his shaking hands working enough to shove a pillow in his direction, before he squeezes his eyes shut and tries to hide in his own pillow, but – Takeda is very, very warm, where they’re almost but-not-quite pressed together.

“You… are you sure I’m not making you uncomfortable? Because –”

“S’fine, sensei. Seriously. ‘Sides, what kind of jerk lets his friend sleep on the floor?”

He sounds panicked, even to his own ears. And, after a moment, he hears Takeda swallow.

“Um. Right. I – well, good night, Ukai-kun.”

“Night.”

He still sounds a bit panicked, and he grits his teeth the second it’s out, squeezing his eyes shut and holding on even tighter to his pillow, and – he’s pretty sure that he’s not imaging the tension between them. Not imagining the awkward silence. And his entire body feels like it’s pulled too tight.

What was he _thinking?_

Takeda doesn’t say a word, though.

Just lies there, unmoving, until his breathing begins to even out; and Keishin keeps his eyes shut. They’re not quite touching, but it’s a close thing, and – god, he’s an idiot. He’s _such_ an idiot.

And he’s pretty sure it’s going to be a long time before he falls asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, ya'll are amazing, oh my gosh. <3 Thanks so much for all the lovely feedback, and so glad folks seem to be enjoying this so much. :)

Keishin wakes up with Takeda curled up around him.

He’s got a leg and an arm over him, and his face is pressed against Keishin’s neck.

Keishin goes from sleepy to terrified in the space of about half a second.

For a moment, there’s nothing but the sound of Takeda’s steady breathing. Then, Keishin tries to slide out from under him, and Takeda mumbles something, and holds on a bit tighter to him.

Keishin’s pretty sure his heart’s never beaten quite this hard in his entire life.

And it’s not easy, to slide out of the bed, but he somehow manages it. It’s not even six am – their alarm won’t go for a while yet – and Tanaka is still passed out in the other bed; and Keishin is as quiet as he can possibly be as he finds his clothes and slips into the bathroom. Brushes his teeth and get dressed as quickly as he can, and then he slings his bag over his shoulder and walks out.

He needs to… he needs to run, or something. Anything that doesn’t involve being in that bed.

\- - -

By noon he’s still so jittery it’s a wonder he can concentrate at all, and he kind of hates himself for it. This trip isn’t about him. It’s about this team. It’s about those kids out there on the court, who are giving their all in an effort to keep getting him stronger. And they need him functional.

He should have never let things get this bad.

He’s pretty sure nobody notices, at least. And the team does well, especially considering who they’re up against him. There’s no sign of Takeda, which is odd – he hardly ever misses their routine practices, let alone something as important as this camp – and it does nothing to settle Keishin’s nerves.

Why does he feel like he’s fucked this up completely?

\- - -

Takeda shows up about an hour later, right after their lunch break.

If he’s feeling at all rattled by the other night, there is absolutely no sign of it.

“Ah, Ukai-kun, I’m so sorry I’m late. Did I miss anything important?”

He’s smiling at Keishin like there’s nothing wrong at all – all bright-eyed as ever, without any trace of unease, like him being late is even close to ordinary – and Keishin takes a deep breath.

Maybe there really is nothing wrong, though. Maybe Keishin’s the only one making a big deal out of this.

“Nothing – nothing too much. And are you, uh, you okay?”

“Hmm? Oh, yes, fine. Not even a hangover, thankfully. How’s the team doing?”

He’s not looking at Keishin anymore – looking out at the court, a smile on his face as he watches Azumane slam the ball over the net – and Keishin takes a moment to stare at him, before he turns to the court, too, and – alright. He just needs to gather his thoughts. He needs to give Takeda a rundown of anything he’s missed this morning, and he needs to just… not think about last night.

If Takeda’s not going to make a big deal of it, then Keishin’s not going to make a big deal out of it.

\- - -

He’s still jittery by the time they’re done for the day, though. And while everyone else goes to find food, he ends up wandering outside, his hands a bit shaky as he fumbles out a cigarette.

Stupid. He’s acting so stupid.

And the cigarette does nothing to calm him down. Shit, he’s so _sick_ of feeling like a teenager.

It’s only the gentle buzz in his pocket that drags him from his thoughts, and he sighs as he stubs out his cigarette and then reaches for his phone, and – just like that, he’s rattled all over again.

_I’m sorry about last night, Ukai-kun. I didn’t want to say anything while were at the court, but I’m truly sorry for imposing like that. I really hope that I didn’t make you uncomfortable._

The words take a second to process, and then Keishin feels his stomach flip over.

Maybe… maybe he’s not the only one unsure of where things stand, then.

And maybe he should just find his spine and tell the damn _truth_ already.

But – what if he screws this up for more than just himself?

He was already distracted enough today. They’re in the middle of training camp – one of the most important things the team’s ever done – and he was fucking _distracted._ What the hell kind of coach does that make him? Not only could he lose a friend, but if their coach and advisor were to have a falling out, then what would that mean for all those kids who are counting on them?

_Honestly, it's fine, sensei. Seriously, no worries. Don’t sweat it, ka?_

Coward. He’s _such_ a coward. But what the hell is he supposed to do?

_Thanks, Ukai-kun. :) If that’s all alright, then, there’s a soba place around the corner that looks yummy. Would you fancy grabbing some dinner with me?_

Easy as ever, as though nothing’s changed. And maybe it hasn’t. Maybe Keishin really is just stupid.

_Sure, just gotta finish some stuff up. Meet you there in half hour?_

_Sounds good. See you then. :)_

He fumbles for another cigarette, as soon as he shoves his phone back in his pocket.

He’s not going to say anything.

And maybe that makes him a coward, but… there’s too much at risk. Not just for him, but for everybody. And instead of dithering back and forth about whether to say anything, he needs to just… make a decision. And this is him making it. He needs to put this behind him and move on.

And if he feels a bit sick as he stubs out his cigarette and walks back into the hotel, then nobody else ever needs to know.

\- - -

His heart still feels like it’s down around his stomach by the time he makes it back to the room.

He needs a shower. He needs a shower, and then another cigarette, and then maybe he can face Takeda. He’s made up his mind. He needs to just get it the hell together and move on.

And he only realizes he’s not alone when he’s already closed the door behind him.

Takeda’s gaping at him, from across the room. Mouth hanging open, and his eyes wide.

And he’s in nothing but a pair of boxers.

All bare skin, damp hair, and nothing but that pair of goddamn boxers.

“I… oh. I – sorry, Ukai-kun. I… I didn’t know you’d be coming back here.”

Keishin barely hears him.

He’s gone hot all the way down his chest.

Oh, _god._

And he’s staring. He _knows_ that he’s staring.

“… Ukai-kun?”

Takeda sounds almost panicked, suddenly, but Keishin can’t speak.

And he only realizes he’s spun around when he’s already done it.

“Sorry.”

He closes his eyes, though, as soon as he chokes it out.

It’s as good as an admission.

And the silence in the room is one of the loudest things he’s ever heard.

All this time, and this was all it took to give him away.

And the silence only breaks when Takeda sucks in a breath. Keishin can’t help but flinch.

“Were you… were you just checking me out?”

Takeda sounds like he barely gets it out, his voice a bit choked, and – alright, this is worse than Keishin had imagined. He’d really like to crawl under one of the beds and hide for forever.

“Yes.”

Because what’s the point in denying it now? He’s already screwed this up.

And he can barely hear over his own heartbeat, until he hears Takeda take another deep breath.

“So, um – does… does t-that mean, that you, um. Like me?”

It’s hardly audible, and Keishin barely opens his mouth before Takeda’s already talking again.

“And I – I-I know, I _know,_ I’m sorry, it sounds so – so _stupid,_ to say it like that, I – I just –”

“Yes.”

He sounds like he’s been chewing on gravel. And he feels pretty much just as bad.

And everything’s horribly quiet, again, until Takeda exhales; and it sounds pretty shaky.

“Ukai-kun, I – I’m going to ask you something. And I’m – I’m sorry to be so direct, but – you’re a colleague, and – and much more importantly, you’re a friend. I don’t want to screw this up.”

He sounds… just as rattled as Keishin feels, suddenly.

And the sudden burn of hope is enough to steal his breath.

“Sensei…”

“If… if I told you that I – that I’ve spent the last six months harbouring the most horrible crush on you, would that… would that be something you’d want to hear, or would that send you running?”

For a long moment, it doesn’t process.

Then, Keishin turns around.

Takeda’s hands are balled into fists at his side, and he’s very determinedly staring at the floor.

And Keishin can’t speak. It’s like all the air’s been punched right out of his lungs.

“Because if… if you’re just looking for something physical, I… I can’t do that. Not with you.”

It’s barely audible, and Keishin’s pretty sure his heart is going to beat right out of his chest.

“So, I need to know if y-you want something more, or… and if not, I’m sorry for making you – uncomfortable, but I – I just, I _need_ to know, I need to be clear right from the outset, because –”

“I want something more.”

His knees go shaky, as soon as he gets it out. And his entire body is too hot.

But maybe he really needs to say it, because Takeda’s staring at him like he doesn’t believe him, and – there’s no trace of his usual composure. No trace of the guy who smiles at everyone, and makes polite little jokes, and somehow manages to laugh everything off, no matter the situation.

No, there’s none of that. This Takeda just looks absolutely completely blindsided. Looks almost scared, even. And it’s enough to get Keishin a step closer, even though his knees feel like rubber.

“God, of course I want more, sensei. How could I not?”

And that’s – that’s way, way too much, probably. Way too honest, but –

To hell with that. He’s done with being a coward. It Takeda can be brave about this, then so can Keishin.

And he’s not sure what he was expecting, but Takeda just stares at him some more, and then he bites his lip and goes back to staring down at the floor, still just looking overwhelmed; and Keishin takes a deep, steadying breath, and makes his shaky legs cross the small space between them.

He’s done with being scared of this.

And Takeda folds into his arms like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

Shoves his face into his chest and just lets Keishin hold him.

And Keishin can’t do anything but bury his face in his hair, trying to keeping his fingers as gentle as he can on Takeda’s back. His skin’s still a bit damp, and he fits absolutely perfectly in Keishin’s arms; and Keishin wants to stand here and hold him for as long as Takeda will let him.

From the way Takeda’s clinging to him, Keishin’s pretty sure he could get away with holding him for a long time.

“So… so what do we do now, then?”

Takeda’s voice sounds just as shaky as Keishin feels, and he presses his face a bit harder into Takeda’s hair.

“Was hoping you could, um, tell me, actually. I don’t have a clue what the hell I’m doing, here.”

“What - what do you mean?”

He’s still hiding against Keishin’s chest, his fingers bunched up in the back of his shirt.

And Keishin kind of really wants to kiss his hair, but he’s not sure if he’s allowed to do that, yet.

“Just that… like, I’ve had a few girlfriends, but nothing serious… and there’s never been anyone who… I mean, I guess it’s pretty obvious that you, um, really mean something to me, so…”

He trails off, though, because Takeda’s sharp little inhale makes him _really_ nervous, suddenly.

Maybe that was too soon. Maybe that was _way_ too soon.

“Ukai-kun…”

“And, also I-I’ve never kissed a guy before so – you know. There’s, uh. That, too.”

It somehow feels less scary than _really mean something_ , and maybe Keishin can just… focus on this part of things, for a while. But it’s still definitely a bit scary, though. And Takeda goes very still, and then swallows and pulls back to look at him. He’s looking a little bit blindsided again.

“You…”

“Yeah. And, I’m. Not out to anyone. Like, literally, nobody else knows, so, uh – think we could keep this to ourselves, just… just for a little bit? Until I get the chance to… tell the people I need to tell.”

He’s not quite looking at Takeda, by the time he finishes saying it – is that a jerk move of him, to ask Takeda to hide this? – but Takeda’s already snuggling back into his chest, holding on even tighter than before.

“I won’t say a word, Ukai-kun. I promise.”

“I – right. Thank you.”

“Of course. And – and don’t feel the need to do this for my sake, okay? I mean, if you’re doing it because _you_ want to, then, well, I’d say that’s wonderful, of course. I just mean – I’ll be here regardless, alright? So… so whatever you’re comfortable with, and whatever timeline works for you…”

He cuts himself off, but that may be because Keishin’s squeezing too tight. He can’t seem to let go, though. His heart’s racing and his eyes feel kind of stingy and he _really_ needs to not cry over this.

All these years, though. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d needed to… he finally _told_ someone.

And that someone happens to be the guy that he’s totally gone over, and who wants him, too. Wants him, and is willing to work with whatever he’s comfortable with. Shit, how he’d get this lucky?

“Thank y-you.”

“Of course, Ukai-kun. Whatever you need.”

It’s kind of horribly gentle, and Takeda’s fingers are moving in tiny little circles against his back.

Keishin swallows, hard, and waits until his eyes stop stinging before he tries to speak again.

“So, um – what _do_ we do now, then?”

His voice still sounds pretty fucked up, and Takeda’s silent, for a moment, before he presses a bit closer, his fingers still moving soft and slow against his back, gentle even through his shirt.

“Well, option A, I-I suppose, would be to curl up in one of those beds and cuddle like teenagers.”

He shifts a little, as he says it, his nose pressing a bit harder into Keishin’s chest, like he still hasn’t quite managed to get close enough; and Keishin closes his eyes and holds on.

He’s so fucked. If Takeda starts flirting with him, then Keishin is going to be so fucked.

“If – if that’s not too sentimental of me to say, of course.”

There’s a sudden hint of uncertainly, maybe, in his voice, and Keishin tightens his grip.

“No, it’s – that sounds amazing, actually. That’s… yeah, I’m in.”

He barely finishes before he can feel Takeda smiling, his fingers still circling against his back.

“Glad to hear it. I… I’m literally just making this up as I go, here.”

It still sounds a bit shakier than before, even though he’s smiling; and Keishin presses his face a bit harder into his hair, though he’s very, very careful to not kiss him yet.

He wants to, though. God, he wants to.

It’s enough to make his legs go right back to feeling like rubber again.

“You-u – seem to be doing a damn good job to me.”

He’s pretty sure there’s no way to miss the shake in his voice. And Takeda swallows as he presses closer. His fingers are still circling against his back, and it’s making his skin heat up.

“Thank you. And, um, well – option B, if… if you wanted. I could… finally take you out for dinner, maybe? And then we could come back here and cuddle like teenagers, if… if you wanted to?”

There’s that hint of uncertainty, again, and Keishin swallows through how hard his heart is beating, but – he feels a bit like he’s flying. He can barely breathe, and he feels like he’s flying.

“You… want to take me to dinner?”

“Ukai-kun, I've, um. I've wanted to take you on a proper date since literally the day I met you.”

He says it like it’s a simple truth – his face still hidden in Keishin’s chest – and Keishin closes his eyes.

Oh, _god._

“Sorry, though, if that’s… too much, or –”

Keishin’s already shaking his head, because he doesn’t like how unsure Takeda sounds.

“No, no, it’s – I’ve wanted this, too. All this time, I’ve – yeah. Me too, and – dinner would be lovely.”

He sounds like a stuttering idiot, but he can pretty much instantly feel Takeda smile against his chest, so it’s probably okay. And his breath jumps when Takeda’s arms tighten around him.

“Awesome. Dinner it is, then.”

Keishin manage a nod, but not much more than that. And he really doesn’t want to let go, either. Takeda’s fingers have gone back to sliding in gentle circles against his back, and he only realizes that he’s doing the same thing to Takeda – pressing against his _bare_ back, god – when Takeda sucks in a breath, and Keishin instantly freezes; and then Takeda's pulling away, his cheeks gone bright pink, and - shit, he's gorgeous.

And he's somehow managing to look shy and embarrassed and still a bit unsure but also just so fucking _happy,_ all at the same time, and - this is actually happening. Keishin's not just imagining this. 

"So, uh - dinner, then?"

He’s still smiling, but he also looks really flushed, suddenly.

And Keishin bites his lip – holy shit, his heart is _slamming_ – until Takeda ducks his head, that sweet little smile still on his face. 

“I, um – I should find some clothes, probably.”

He looks a bit embarrassed about it; and Keishin sucks in a breath, suddenly very aware of just how little Takeda is wearing.

Shit. Shit, he needs to - he needs to keep talking. Has to take a second to lick his lips, though. His mouth is suddenly very dry.

“I - right. And I should have a shower, probably –”

“Okay. And then –”

“Yeah. And then dinner.”

“Right.”

For a second, though, they just keep staring at each other, and Keishin _knows_ just how ridiculous they sound.

And then Takeda ducks his head on a laugh that sounds like the best thing Keishin’s ever heard, and Keishin knows he’s grinning, too, everything inside him suddenly feeling like he’s flying, again.

This is happening. This is actually happening.

Everything he was so terrified of, all this time – and turns out that he had no reason to be scared, after all.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, sooo, I was wrong about the chapter count. Again, heh. There's actually going to be one more chapter after this (and it's honestly gonna be like straight-up 4,000 words of fluffy sex, going by what I've got written so far, heeee). Anddd then one more after that, too. I honestly just can't stop writing these two.
> 
> But yeah. In this one, it's date time. :)
> 
> (And thank you, again, to everyone, for all the incredibly kind feedback. I really do honestly appreciate it so much. <3)

They go to dinner.

They go to dinner, like they have so many times before – but this time it’s different. Takeda doesn’t really _flirt_ with him, per say – Keishin’s pretty sure, actually, that Takeda is going out of his way to put as little pressure on him as possible – but he can’t seem to stop staring at Keishin, either, and he’s somehow even sweeter than normal, which shouldn’t even be _possible_ ; and it’s all just… it’s different. And it’s wonderful. And when Keishin finally, _finally_ finds his damn spine and presses their knees together under the table, the rush of nerves is worth the way Takeda goes incredibly pink, before he grins and nudges his knees back, looking horribly pleased about it.

“Why, Ukai-kun. Are you flirting with me?”

For a long moment, Keishin can’t do anything but stare, his mouth just kind of hanging open.

Did Takeda just read his mind?

Stunned silence must be the wrong response, though, because Takeda’s smile starts to slip.

“Sorry, sorry, was that –”

“No, it’s –”

“I don’t want to pressure you, in any way, alright, so if I say or do anything that you don’t –”

“I’ve spent literal months wanting this, sensei. You… um, you’re really not pressuring me.”

And he’s not. He’s really not. Keishin still has questions about where this is all going, of course he does – but this is more than enough for now. Takeda, in his own words, has had a _horrible crush_ on him for months; and they’re in Tokyo together; and Takeda looks happier than Keishin’s ever seen him. Any other questions can wait. For now, this, right here, is perfect.

And his heart jumps when Takeda just looks at him for a second, before he ducks his head on one of those pleased little grins that Keishin’s never going to be get over being the cause of.

“Glad to hear it. And, would it be okay then, um, okay if I _do_ flirt with you, a little?”

Keishin knows he’s staring again. This time, though, Takeda doesn’t apologize. Just bites his lip and shrugs, staring down at his noodle bowl in a way that somehow looks deceptively casual.

“I, uh. I have had a lot of time to think about this, Ukai-kun. If I overstep, in any way, please tell me, of course, but – if you’re okay with it, I’d be very happy to finally have the chance to, um –”

“Only if I get to flirt with you, too.”

He’s back to sounding like he’s been crawling around in a desert for days.

And this should be awkward. It should be _so_ awkward. Who the hell has a conversation like this?

They do, apparently. And, when Takeda swallows, looking a bit flustered, it’s just… it’s really not awkward. And Keishin somehow gets his hand working enough to rest it on top of Takeda’s.

He shouldn’t, probably. Even in a big city, someone will probably –

But he just doesn’t care. If someone has a problem, they can fuck off. He’s a lot more interested in the man blinking at him from across the table, wide-eyed and like he doesn’t know what to say.

“Ukai-kun…”

“Alright?”

“I – I think I should be asking you that.”

His fingers are twisting to lace with Keishin’s, though. And Keishin doesn’t care how hot his face is. Just tightens his grip, and then loses his breath when Takeda groans and puts his free hand over his face.

“You’re going to be the _death_ of me, Ukai-kun. I… I’ve spent so long trying to _not_ want this, and now…”

He trails off, like he’s realized what he was saying; and Keishin’s heart is slamming very hard.

“Tell me more?”

He barely manages it, with how dry his mouth is. And Takeda makes a noise like he’s embarrassed, his hand still over his face; but his other hand simply tightens around Keishin’s.

“Really? You honestly want to hear about just how badly I’ve been –”

“Sensei, I – I have basically been the _literal_ definition of pining, okay, ever since I met you, so –”

He cuts himself off, though, because Takeda’s peering at him through his fingers, now, looking a little shocked, and – it’s like looking in a mirror, suddenly. Like, just maybe, Keishin’s not the one who’d been really scared about all this. Maybe he’s not the only one who felt’s so hopeless.

“Ukai-kun…”

“You laugh at my jokes.”

His heart starts pounding even worse, as soon as he says it. And Takeda’s still just staring at him.

“You – you laugh at my jokes, all the time, like – like you honestly think I’m _funny_ , and –”

“Of – of _course_ I –”

“And you listen, okay, like – do you even _know_ how amazing of a listener you are? And – and all those times you’d swing by work, I’d be so tired, and you’d just show up and make everything all better…”

Takeda’s mouth is hanging open, behind his hand. Keishin can’t seem to stop, though. It’s terrifying, sure, but… it’s like he can breathe a bit more, too, with every word out of his mouth.

Maybe he’s been bottling this for too long.

“And you – you’re just so _nice,_ all the fucking time, and – and I have literally had to step out of practice, before, okay, because you – you _smiled_ at me, and I-I had to go and take a damn _breather_ –”

“You made me soup.”

It’s very quiet, from behind his hand, but he definitely says it.

And Keishin’s stomach jolts, because Takeda’s voice is very, very small, suddenly.

“Sensei…”

“I felt like shit, and you took care of me. I don’t even remember the last time someone did that. ”

Keishin’s heart is really hurting, suddenly, and he can feel Takeda’s fingers tighten around his. His other hand finally drops from his face, and Keishin can see just how overwhelmed he looks.

How the hell had Keishin missed this? With the way Takeda’s looking at him now, how had he ever thought this wasn’t a mutual thing?

“And all those nights we just got together and talked, and… hell, you think _I’m_ a good listener? And of _course_ I think you’re funny, you’re _hilarious,_ you really are, I’ve always thought that –”

“Sensei –”

“And you let me sleep on your _shoulder_. That – that bus ride – I thought I was going to _die.”_

He doesn’t even say it like he’s joking. Says it like he’s serious.

Keishin’s pretty sure he feels himself fall harder. Puts his other hand over Takeda’s, his mouth going dry.

“And – you’re so damn clever, and you work so hard, and –”

 _“I’m_ clever?”

“Of _course_ you are. You’re _so_ clever, Ukai-kun. And – if I could pick all those damn beans for you I _would_ , so you could actually get some _sleep_ at night, and – and what you said earlier, about me really meaning something to you, that… well, you – you really mean something to me, too.”

His voice gets quiet, again, at the end; and Keishin’s heart is doing that weird squeezing thing.

Oh, god.

This is real. He’s not imagining this.

But Takeda’s looking almost panicked, again, like he’s not sure he should have said all that; and Keishin squeezes his hand with both of his own, the words getting stuck before he can get them out.

He needs Takeda to not be frightened of this. Needs him to know that this is all okay.

“Let’s get out of here.”

“What?”

He still looks a bit panicked. Their noodles are barely touched, in front of them. And Keishin needs to get them out of here.

“Let’s – look, I will go on as many dates with you as we possibly can, believe me, I am _so_ down for that, but – but right now I’d really like to kiss you, and I can’t do that here, so –”

He stops talking when Takeda’s mouth falls open, a new wave of heat washing down his face.

“If, um. If you’d like that, too, anyway.”

For a second, Takeda just stares at him, his face still really red. Then, he stumbles up so suddenly it’s a miracle he doesn’t trip over his feet, yanking out his wallet and scanning the restaurant.

“I’ll find the waiter.”

Keishin opens his mouth, but Takeda’s already gone; and Keishin, suddenly, has to hide a grin behind his hand, even as the nerves in his stomach burn their way up through his entire body.

Cute. Takeda’s _so_ fucking cute.

And he’s all Keishin’s, apparently.

The thought’s enough to make his stomach flutter, and he bites his lip, his legs a bit shaky as he gets to his feet, too.

He needs to keep it together. Just until they get back to their room, he needs to keep it together.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Six thousand words of fluffy happy sexy times, hee. :) 
> 
> Also, thank you, as always, to everyone for all the amazingly kind feedback. It's all so very appreciated, and I'm just so glad I could write something that folks seem to be enjoying so much. <3

He barely makes it back to the hotel room.

He almost takes Takeda’s hand on the walk back, even. Almost, but not quite. With their luck they’d run into someone they know, and that’s really not how Keishin wants to out them.

He wants to keep holding his damn hand, though. And they barely make it through the door before he’s wrapping Takeda up in his arms, again – it just feels so _easy_ ; feels as easy as all the times they’ve just sat and talked about anything and everything – and the tiny squeaking noise Takeda makes is _adorable_ , even as Takeda wraps up around him, too, his face shoving into his chest, and – Keishin has no idea what to do next, though. Can he just kiss him? Do they – should there be more of a lead-in, or – shit, he has _no_ idea what he’s doing, he shouldn’t be this _clueless._

“I’m gonna be really honest, sensei.”

Because he can’t dance around this. They’re sharing this room for four more days, and they’re both adults, and he’s not going to stand here and pretend he’s not thinking about the beds behind them.

God, Takeda actually _wants_ him. How is this even real?

“How – how so?”

His fingers are doing that circle thing against Keishin’s back, again; and Keishin closes his eyes.

“You, ah – might need to take the lead a bit, here. I… like I said, I really don’t know what I’m doing, and – I mean, kissing’s one thing, but any more than that, and I’m probably a bit…well.”

Because he _does_ want more. Takeda feels fucking _perfect_ against him, and Keishin wants more.

He’s got the guy he loves in his arms, and they have a room to themselves in Tokyo.

Keishin’s never wanted someone this much in his life.

And he’s not sure what he was expecting. Maybe for Takeda to freeze up, or try to pull away.

He doesn’t, though. Just keeps holding on to him, fingers still gentle on his back, until he swallows and presses closer; and then all the air leaves Keishin’s lungs when Takeda’s fingers slide down to – just barely – slip underneath the bottom of his t-shirt, brushing against his back.

“I’m not going to lie. Something more sounds… really lovely. But – like I said, I don’t want to rush –”

“You’re _not_ , you’re – unless, I’m… rushing you? Cause –”

Takeda’s already shaking his head, his breath coming hot and shaky against his chest.

“God, no. I’ve wanted to do this for _months_ –”

“Then – I mean, given that you’ve got a big old crush on me, and I’ve got one on you, too, so –”

The noise Takeda makes sounds a lot like a sputter, but he doesn’t pull away. If anything, he just holds on tighter; and Keishin swallows, and ducks down to press his face in Takeda’s hair.

“And we – we both want this, so – what are you waiting for, then?”

He’s not sure how he gets it out. His face feels like it’s on fire.

But he needs this. Even if he’s still a bit nervous, he needs this.

And he holds his breath as Takeda stills, and then groans against his chest, fingers fisting in his shirt as he – leans up a bit, and just kind of… presses his mouth right against Keishin’s neck.

Keishin’s knees just about go out from under him.

“Please, _please_ tell me if I do anything you don’t like.”

It sounds almost frantic, whispered right against his skin; and Keishin barely manages a nod before Takeda starts kissing him, holding on tighter to his shirt and dragging his lips up his neck, which – holy _shit,_ that’s _stubble,_ that’s – stubble on his neck, barely there, because it’s Takeda, but _still,_ that’s stubble, and that’s – that’s weird, that’s – _so incredibly hot_ –

He’d be embarrassed about the noise he makes, but Takeda’s groaning, so maybe it’s okay.

“You’re so _tall_ – _why_ are you so tall –”

Keishin has no air to answer. He’s going to bruise Takeda, with how hard he’s holding on. And he barely starts tipping his head back – god, oh my _god_ – before Takeda’s hissing out a breath and pulling away, though he doesn’t go far, his hands coming up to press against Keishin’s chest.

“Can we – can we sit down? This will be easier if we sit down.”

He’s not trying to nudge Keishin into moving, even with his hands pressing against his chest; and Keishin stares at him before he nods and starts walking backwards. Hits the bed, and lets himself go down – scoots until he’s sitting against the wall, at the head of the bed, and Takeda’ already following him, sliding into his lap like it’s just the easiest thing in the world and _holy shit._

“There. Better.”

It’s wonderfully breathless, and Keishin feels like he’s left his voice behind somewhere.

And then Takeda just kind of… stops.

Sits there, right in his lap, and just looks at him, knees on either side of his and his cheeks so flushed it looks a bit painful, and – Keishin closes his eyes when Takeda brings a hand up to press against his cheek, resting his palm there as he carefully strokes a thumb against his skin.

It’s probably the gentlest anyone’s ever been with him in his whole life.

“You really do like me, don’t ya, sensei.”

He’s not sure how he says it. And he absolutely cannot open his eyes to look at Takeda.

And when Takeda’s response is to slide his fingers through his hair, Keishin can’t stop a shiver.

“Yeah. Yeah, I really like you.”

It’s soft, breathed against him as Takeda keeps playing with his hair; and Keishin’s stomach flips over.

He might not survive this.

“And call me ‘Ittetsu’, alright? If – if I’m about to kiss you, could we maybe, um, drop the formalities, if – if you –”

“Only if – if you use my name, too.”

“I think that can be arranged.”

He can hear Takeda smiling at him, but he can’t get his eyes open. And his face is so hot it’s a wonder there’s blood left in his body for anything else, but – well. There definitely is. Probably because Takeda is sitting on him. Keishin is suddenly having a really hard time keeping his hips still.

 _Shit,_ he might actually not survive this.

He gets his eyes open, though, because he needs to see Takeda.

And Takeda just sits there and smiles at him, so damn sweet about, his thumb still sliding against his cheek; and Keishin, suddenly, realizes that he might be waiting, and he somehow manages a nod; and then Takeda’s leaning in to brush their lips together, and nothing else in the world matters.

His lips are soft, barely there before he’s gone, again; and Keishin opens his eyes. Takeda’s cheeks are flushed, and he’s still wearing his glasses, eyes wide behind them; and Keishin opens his mouth, and then closes it again. Watches as Takeda just keeps staring at him; and all it takes is Keishin’s hand against his back, trying to nudge him closer, for Takeda to swallow and lean in again, a hand coming back to his cheek are Takeda kisses him so gently Keishin can barely deal with it.

Nobody’s ever treated him like this.

And he only realizes how much Takeda must be holding back when he notices that his hand is so tight on Keishin’s hip it’s probably going to bruise. Feels his fingers dig in even tighter when Keishin opens his mouth, everything inside him going hotter when Takeda sucks in a breath.

“You’re holding back, aren’t you?”

He’s not sure what he was expecting, but it’s not a groan, hot and shaky right against his mouth.

“Of _course_ I-I am.”

“Sensei – um, I mean –”

“You’ve never done this, I’m _trying_ to –”

“You don’t have to. You, uh – you _really_ don’t have to.”

It’s all he can manage. The words he needs – _please, please stop holding back_ – get stuck.

But it must do the trick, because Takeda barely takes the time to consider it before both of his hands are in his hair, twisting into it – careful, still so _careful_ about it– as he kisses Keishin, again, still gentle, but – but not quite _as_ gentle as before; and Keishin feels his whole body heat up. Barely gets his hands on Takeda’s hips – he needs – he needs to hold on to something – when Takeda’s tongue just barely brushes his lips, there and gone again as he drops his mouth back down to his neck; and Keishin feels his head bump the wall as he drops it back, giving Takeda more space to work with. Only realizes he’s shoved his hands up the back of Takeda’s shirt when Takeda starts squirming against him, his voice broken as he scrapes his cheek across Keishin’s neck.

“Please, please, you can take it off, if you want, you can –”

Keishin can’t move fast enough. Takeda helps – sits back just long enough to raise his arms – and Keishin’s heartbeat is hammering as he tugs the shirt off him, and barely has time to appreciate the sight – shit, _shit,_ he’s gorgeous – before Takeda’s kissing him, again, squirming like he can’t get close enough as tugs the top of Keishin’s shirt down and kisses right against his collarbone; and holy shit there’s a slight scrape of stubble there, too, and Keishin is going to _die._

“Ittetsu…”

It feels way, _way_ too good, to say it; and Takeda’s groaning and shoving his hands up underneath his shirt, pressing a hand flat across Keishin’s stomach; and Keishin can’t help but twist up into it.

“Shit, _shit_ –”

“Can I –”

“Whatever – whatever you want, seriously, just –”

He’s not expecting a mouth on his nipple, right through his fucking shirt.

And the way he yelps and bucks into it would be embarrassing if it was anyone but Takeda. As is, he really doesn’t care. Gets his hands into Takeda’s hair and groans as Takeda licks him, and it’s – it’s weird, the damp material, but – but it’s way too hot, too, and Takeda’s hands are still under his shirt, one against his stomach, one against his back, and Keishin can’t fucking _breathe._

“I – I thought you were _shy.”_

His voice cracks on it, and he instantly regrets it – what if Takeda stops? – but Takeda’s response is a laugh – low and shaky and really, _really_ pleased – that Keishin feels burn right through him.

“I _am_ shy.”

“This – this doesn’t _feel_ shy –”

“Yes, well, you’re giving me really good incentive to – um, _not_ be shy, for once.”

He inches Keishin’s shirt up a bit further, even as he says it, and – yeah, Keishin’s definitely not going to survive this.

And he’s still trying to get his breath back when Takeda trails his fingers across his stomach; and then he seems to pause, before he swallows and slides back, out of Keishin’s lap, though he’s tugging on Keishin’s legs pretty much immediately, hands sliding down the backs of his thighs.

“Can you – lie down, if –”

Keishin can’t move quickly enough.

Barely ends up on his back – knees up, so that Takeda can sit between them, and – and wow, okay, that’s – that’s more than a little suggestive, that’s – that should be weird, probably, he’s got a guy between his legs, but it’s _Takeda_ , and it’s _not_ weird, it’s just – it’s _really_ fucking hot, holy _shit_ – and then Takeda’s ducking down to kiss his way up his stomach as he starts sliding his shirt up; and Keishin can’t do anything but slide his fingers into Takeda’s hair and hold on.

“Fuck, _fuck,_ dammit –”

Takeda’s laugh is shaky, again; and then he seems to get distracted, his mouth going back to Keishin’s chest, hot and damp as he just kind of bunches his shirt up around his neck; and Keishin can’t even squirm free, his heart slamming too hard and his breath getting stuck in his lungs.

“Come on, come _on,_ just –”

His arms end up over his head as Takeda sits up and finally strips him out of his shirt, properly, tossing it somewhere before he sits back and stares at him; and Keishin, suddenly, is fighting the urge to cross his arms across his chest. He’s pretty sure he’s gone red all the way down his neck.

“What?”

Takeda just blinks at him, and doesn’t seem able to speak. Just sits there and stares at him, biting his lip, and –  and he’s just – he’s just so _ridiculously_ attractive, so _unfairly_ attractive, everything about him, his mouth swollen and his cheeks and neck and chest all flushed, and – he blinks, again, and Keishin’s face goes even hotter when he realizes they’re both just kind of staring at each other.

“We, uh. We make quite the pair, don’t we?”

He’s not sure how he manages it. He could just lie here and stare at Takeda all night.

And when Takeda’s only response is to nod, still looking a bit blindsided, like he still can’t seem to stop staring at him, either, Keishin’s pretty sure he can actually feel something in his chest squeeze. It’s all he can do get a hand up, his fingers brushing against Takeda’s hair.

“You, uh. You’re really kind of unfairly attractive, you know.”

The flash of vulnerability, as he says it, is enough to make his stomach lurch; but Takeda just bites his lip even harder, closing his eyes as he swallows and leans into Keishin’s palm; and Keishin, suddenly, needs him closer. They’re not close enough. And all it takes is a gentle nudge with his leg – he wraps it around Takeda, pressing it against his back, his heart _leaping_ , suddenly, because, okay, that’s _really_ suggestive, now – but it works, because Takeda folds back down against him. Shoves his face in his neck, not even kissing him, just kind of… resting, there, and – they’re pressed together, now, and Takeda’s skin is hot and soft against his, and, okay, that’s – Takeda’s definitely hard, too, pressed right against Keishin, and that should be – that _should_ be weird, that, of all things, should _really_ be weird, but – but more than that it just makes Keishin’s entire body heat. And he’s suddenly having a lot of trouble getting air into his lungs.

“Ittetsu…”

He can’t quite finish, because Takeda groans and squirms against him, like he’s trying to get closer; and Keishin keeps a leg wrapped around him, his skin still flushing almost painfully hot.

Maybe Takeda likes his voice. Maybe that’s something they can explore, later.

For now, he slides his fingers along his back, brushing them down his spine, and then grits his teeth when Takeda wiggles like he doesn’t know whether to push into it, or to push closer to him.

“Keishin, can – can I…”

He stops, breathing hard, but – just like that, Keishin gets it.

Oh, god.

He _definitely_ hadn’t realized what Takeda using his name would do to him.

And his hands feel shaky and desperate as he slides them down Takeda’s back.

“Literally – literally anything y-you want is f-fine. Do whatever you –”

He wasn’t quite expecting Takeda to slide a hand down between and start working on his zipper.

The only reason his hips even stay on the bed is because Takeda’s still curled up on top of him.

And the noise he makes is _ridiculous,_ but Takeda groans in response, so maybe that’s okay, and – god, Takeda’s barely even done anything, yet – gets the zipper down, but there’s no way for Keishin to squirm out of his pants, he’s lying on them, and Takeda’s lying on _him_ – but Takeda doesn’t try to do anything more, anyway. Just gets the zipper down and then goes back to kissing him, though he doesn’t stop at his neck; and he’s being _so_ gentle about it, of course he is, but Keishin’s _still_ probably going to have little marks all down his chest; and he wants that, he wants that _so_ badly.

He also _really_ wants out of his goddamn pants, but he can’t _move._

“Ittetsu, come _on_ – just, let me –”

“What do you –”

“Get my pants off, _please.”_

He barely gets it out before Takeda stills, breathing hard against him; and, for a second, he expects Takeda to ask if he’s sure, again; but Takeda just presses another gentle kiss against his chest.

“Stop me at any time.”

It’s low, barely audible, where Takeda’s breathing against him; and Keishin barely has time to breathe through the wave of affection before Takeda’s scooting down the bed, and – Keishin can feel himself go even redder when he realizes he still has his damn shoes on; but Takeda doesn’t seem to care. The shoes hit the floor, followed by his socks, and then Takeda’s yanking at his jeans, breathing hard, and Keishin gets his ass off the bed. Does his best to help until his jeans are gone, and he’s in nothing but his boxers, his dick tenting them obscenely; but he barely has time for the wave of self-consciousness before Takeda’s losing the rest of his clothes, too. Gets to his feet to do it, and Keishin curls his fingers into the sheets as he watches Takeda get naked, stripping everything off until he’s – okay, almost everything, he stops at his boxers, too, but Keishin can see how hard he is, and Keishin _should_ be freaking out, but he’s really, _really_ not, wow; and maybe Takeda gets that, because there’s nothing hesitant in the way he slides over Keishin’s legs. Sits across him and curls a hand around Keishin’s thigh – fuck, _fuck,_ so close – as he leans back in to press his mouth back against Keishin’s neck, his breathing shaky against his skin.

“Still okay?”

His voice sounds absolutely wrecked, and Keishin barely manages a nod before Takeda’s fingers slide up to slip along the top of his boxers, barely brushing his skin, and – Keishin squeezes his eyes shut, a new rush of shaky heat getting all tangled up inside him, making it hard to breathe.

“Can I take these off, too?”

His lips are soft, against Keishin’s shoulder – gentle kisses, even as he dips his fingers under the top of Keishin’s boxers – and Keishin swallows, and gets another nod out, and then fights the stupid, _stupid_ urge to hide himself as Takeda crawls off Keishin long enough to slide his boxers off; and then Takeda seems to hesitate, before he sets his glasses on the table, and then slides out of his boxers, too, pushing them down over his legs and not quite looking at Keishin as he tosses them aside, and – okay, they’re both naked, now; and maybe Keishin should be freaking out.

But he can see the tightness across Takeda’s shoulders – can see the sudden embarrassment, for all that Takeda might be trying to hide it – and Keishin’s heart jumps as he holds his hands out.

“C’mere?”

For a second, Takeda just stares at him, standing there beside the bed.

Then, he sucks in a breath and crawls back into Keishin’s lap, and Keishin wraps his arms around him as Takeda buries his face in his neck, holding on tight to him and fuck fuck fucking _shit,_ Keishin’s dick is sliding against the soft skin of Takeda’s stomach, and Takeda’s pressed against him, too, hard and damp and that’s _so_ damn hot, and – Keishin’s barely breathing anymore, even as he tries to make his voice work, tries to keep his hands gentle against Takeda’s back.

“You – you okay?”

For a moment, Takeda just breathes against him, feeling wound tight enough to break.

Then, the tension seems to ease out of him, at least a bit, and Keishin can feel him swallow.

“Pretty, um – pretty sure I’m supposed to be asking you that, actually.”

It sounds a bit amused, even through how shaky it is, and there’s even the tiniest hint of a smile against his shoulder; but Keishin’s already shaking his head, even as a crushing wave of affection burns up through him; because of _course_ Takeda is still going to be worried about him.

“Just – look, just because you’ve actually done this before, doesn’t mean – like, I’m _still_ going to check, obviously –”

“I know. And… thank you, Keishin. You… you’re really amazing, you know that?”

He says it like it’s a simple fact – his arms still tight around him – and Keishin feels his face burn.

“Says you.”

His voice sounds just as horribly shaky as he feels, and when Takeda kisses his neck, again, he can’t do anything but tip his head back. Stays like that until Takeda sits up, again – and Keishin literally has to grit his teeth to keep from trying to follow – but Takeda’s hand is in his hair, suddenly, smiling at him as he drags his fingers through it, barely tugging; and Keishin feels his chest squeeze again. Can’t do anything but lie there as Takeda just sits there and smiles at him.

“Can I – is it okay if I take this out?”

It takes Keishin a second – shit, he could just lie here and stare at Takeda for _hours_ – and then he feels Takeda’s fingers tug on his hairband, and the heat on his face gets worse, even as he nods. Can’t do anything but keep lying there as Takeda carefully tugs the hairband off and sets it on the table beside them. Keishin can feel the strands of his hair falling down against his skin; and he can’t stop a sudden shiver, because Takeda’s biting his lip, now, and looking a bit blindsided.

“Ittetsu…”

“I always wondered what you’d look like with your hair down.”

“And – and does it meet with your approval?”

He doesn’t get near anywhere the humour he was going for, though. Ends up just sounding really horribly unsure, actually.

Why does this feel even more nerve-wracking than taking his clothes off?

“Of course it does, Keishin. Everything about you is gorgeous.”

His fingers are still threading through his hair, as he says it; and Keishin just stares at him.

That should be ridiculous. Takeda just called him gorgeous. To his face. Out loud and everything. Like it’s just another simple truth. Keishin should be feeling _ridiculous_ , right now.

He doesn’t, though. He… he really doesn’t.

And when Takeda just smiles at him – so damn _sweet_ about it – and leans in to kiss him, Keishin just closes his eyes and holds on. Everything inside him is aching, and his lungs feel too tight.

“Can you, um, sit up against the headboard, again?”

Takeda’s voice is kind of horribly gentle, and there’s no way for Keishin to respond with words, so he just does it, instead. Sits up until he’s pressed against the cool wood behind him; and everything inside him gets even shakier when it lets Takeda sit in his lap, again, pressing them together everywhere as he gets his knees on either side of Keishin, snuggling up close against him.

“Okay?”

Keishin still can’t speak. He’s okay, this is perfect, but he still can’t speak.

“Keishin? Is this –”

“Perfect. You’re perfect.”

He sounds just as overwhelmed as he feels, but he can’t care. Not when the words make Takeda freeze, before he swallows so hard Keishin can feel it, and then he – pulls back to kiss him, again, sliding his fingers into Keishin’s hair and just barely pressing their lips together; and Keishin sucks in a breath at how gentle it is, like Takeda, maybe, thinks that Keishin’s breakable.

And he barely manages to start trying to kiss him back before Takeda’s pulling away to look at him, almost like he’s studying him, like he’s looking for something; and whatever the answer is, the answer is yes, of course, so Keishin manages a nod. And that must be what Takeda was waiting for; because he stares at him for a moment longer, before he blushes, his eyes skittering away as he puts a hand over his own mouth; and Keishin barely has time to be confused before Takeda drops his hand, warm and damp as he wraps it around Keishin’s dick; and Keishin can’t do anything but close his eyes and drop his head forward against Takeda’s shoulder.

He can’t breathe.

And Takeda’s other hand is gentle, where it’s sliding along his spine, fingers tracing across his skin. Everything’s gentle as he slides his hand between them, his fingers so slow around him, and it should be _maddening,_ it should be – it’s _perfect_ ; and then Takeda kisses his hair, and Keishin has to squirm closer, tightening his grip around him, still hiding his face in his shoulder.

Takeda can probably feel how badly he’s blushing.

“Good?”

Keishin can feel how hard Takeda’s heart is pounding. Can hear the tightness in his voice.

And Keishin can’t do anything but nod. Holds on tighter as Takeda’s thumb slides up the bottom of his dick, circling right underneath the head, just kind of… staying there, slow circles of pressure, slick and warm, and – he slides his fingers down, slowly, and then he tightens then and slides back up again, rubbing them over the head, and – Keishin knows that he’s making stupid noises. Knows that he’s panting, but he can’t seem to stop. Not with Takeda’s fingers around him, and Takeda’s mouth in his hair, and his other hand pressed across the base of his back, holding him there. Keeping him safe. And Takeda’s breathing is just as fucked up as Keishin’s.

“Keishin…”

He sounds as wrecked as Keishin feels, too, and Keishin shoves his face harder into his shoulder.

He loves this man. He loves him so much.

“Like this? Can I – is this –”

Keishin barely manages a nod, but it must be enough, because Takeda settles himself a bit more across Keishin’s lap, and tightens his arm around him, his fingers sliding down the length of him, slow and damp before they close around him, again, a few slower strokes before Takeda seems to settle into a rhythm, pressing against him like he’s still trying to squirm closer, and – Keishin, distantly, realizes how closely he’s being watched, because he hears himself groan, and then ends up groaning, again, when Takeda shivers and instantly repeats the exact same slide of his fingers; and Keishin closes his eyes and holds on. Knows that he’s twisting kind of helplessly against Takeda, the tension in him pulling tighter. Feels himself harden further in Takeda’s hand, and his face is getting hotter, too, and his heart’s slamming, and he’s – he’s almost – and Takeda’s making noise, as well. Shaky little panting sounds, like doing this for Keishin is really getting to him, too; and then Takeda tilts his head to press a kiss against his temple, before sliding his lips down to brush across his cheek, still so _gentle_ about it; and everything inside Keishin pulls tight.

“I – I’m –”

Takeda’s hand tightens against the small of his back, just barely pressing down, holding him there, and Keishin hits the edge and crashes over it, going hot everywhere, the air knocked out of him, spilling across Takeda’s hand, with Takeda’s arm tight around him, and Takeda breathing against him, wrapped up around him, and – Takeda strokes him through it. Keeps it gentle, his mouth sliding back into his hair, and his fingers damp and careful until Keishin slumps against him; and he can feel how hard Takeda’s breathing, pulling Keishin even tighter against him, and –

Keishin can’t move.

Takeda’s skin is warm and sweaty, and his heart is slamming so hard Keishin can feel it.

He needs to move – he needs to – Takeda still hasn’t – but he can’t.

Everything inside him is too shaky.

And then the hand on his back slides up his spine and into his hair, fingers gentle as they curl into it, cradling the back of his head as Takeda holds him, and – Takeda’s _shaking,_ god. Keishin’s the one who got off, but Takeda’s shaking, too; and Keishin shoves his face further into his shoulder.

His chest’s so tight he can’t breathe.

And it only gets tighter when he realizes that Takeda’s started rubbing little circles against his hip, slow and easy, like he’s trying to sooth him, maybe; and it should be a bit funny, probably – Takeda’s fingers are sticky, and they keep catching against his skin, but – it’s not funny at all. It’s sweet and gentle, just like everything that Takeda’s done for him; and Keishin feels his eyes sting.

He’s not fucking crying now, though. No goddamn way.

Right now, he has another goal. Just as soon as he can make his muscles work, anyway.

“Good?”

He barely hears it, even with Takeda’s face pressed into his hair.

There’s still no way to miss the uncertainty, though, and Keishin sucks in a deep breath.

And here he’d thought his heart couldn’t hurt any worse.

“S’perfect. You’re perfect.”

The words are a bit slurred, but Takeda deserves the truth.

And when he can feel some of the tension go out of Takeda, Keishin sucks in another breath, and finally pulls back to look at him again. Takeda’s got his lip between his teeth, and he’s a little bit wide-eyed, and he’s _gorgeous_ ; and then Keishin glances down between them, and feels a new wave of heat rush through him, which – alright, this still isn’t weird. He’s staring at Takeda’s dick, and it’s not weird at _all,_ it’s just – it’s _really_ hot, actually – and, when he gets his eyes back up again, Takeda’s gone even redder, and he’s doing his best to look anywhere but at Keishin

“You… um, you don’t have to, if –”

“You want me to, though?”

“I – well, um, yes, of course, but only if –”

That’s all Keishin needs.

And all it takes is Keishin’s hand on Takeda’s thigh, and he’s already squirming in Keishin’s lap.

Folding forward until it’s his turn to hide, apparently, his face buried against the side of Keishin’s neck, now, and – Keishin can still feel him shaking. He’s got both hands digging into Keishin’s back, now, and there’s no way to miss the tremble that’s running through him; and Keishin really needs to make this good for him. Ponders it, for a second – holds on as tight as he can – before he starts carefully trying to nudge Takeda backward, his heart racing as he does so.

“Hey, um. Actually – can you lie back for me?”

He keeps his hands gentle until Takeda pulls back to look at him; and then he nods, and lets himself be nudged, until he’s lying on his back, eyes wide, biting his lip and staring up at him; and Keishin swallows – he’s _never_ going to get used to this – and follows, bracing himself over him; and then he ends up just about flat-out falling on top of him when he ducks down to kiss Takeda’s neck, and ends up with Takeda’s fingers in his hair, and his head dropping back on the bed.

“Oh – oh, _god_ –”

“Yes?”

 _“Yes,_ god, that’s –”

Yeah. Takeda, falling to pieces underneath him. Keishin’s _never_ getting used to this.

And he barely puts a hand on his stomach before Takeda’s hips are leaving the bed, pressing up against him – as far as he can get with Keishin on top of him – as he holds on tighter to Keishin's hair.

He’s still not tugging on it, though. Of course he’s not. How can one person be so considerate?

“I’m – I’m already – you won’t need to do much, I’m –”

He cuts himself off, sounding embarrassed all over again, though he can’t seem to stay still; and Keishin grits his teeth together – fuck, how is Takeda so _hot_ , it’s not even _fair_ – and carefully drags his mouth down his neck again.

“I – alright. What – what do you want me to –”

“Perfect. Right, like this, is perfect, it’s –”

His voice cuts out on a whine when Keishin wraps a hand around him, and Keishin’s heart is suddenly beating really hard. It’s all he can do to stay upright when Takeda curls up until his face is in Keishin’s shoulder; and Keishin lets himself down, a bit more, so that Takeda can lie back against the sheets, again. Ends up with next to no space between them, and Takeda breathing hard into his shoulder as he squirms and bucks into any way that Keishin touches him.

God, Keishin loves him so much.

“Please, _please,_ just –”

“Damp – damp enough? Or –”

 _“Yes,_ yes, just – please –”

Takeda’s fingers are digging into his spine, now, and Keishin swallows, and nods. There’s not much more he can do, like this – he needs one arm to brace himself on, and he can’t really get his mouth anywhere on Takeda, with how close Takeda’s curled up against him – but maybe he doesn’t need to. Takeda’s already falling apart. Keishin can feel how damp he is, slick and warm under his hand; and the new wave of heat that rocks through him leaves him shaking. Makes him suck in a breath as he tries to make it good as possible – rubs his thumb along the head and then down, spreading the dampness; and he keeps his fingers hopefully just tight enough, trying to do what Takeda did for him, too – listening for the spots that get to him, every little whine and hitch in his breath – and it must be working. It all must be working well enough. Because Takeda’s twitching under his fingers, and Keishin grits his teeth, resting as much of his weight on Takeda as he dares, giving Takeda something to hold on to as his voice starts breaking into little whines.

“Keishin, _Keishin,_ p-please – please, I’m –”

“I got you, I’ve –”

Takeda goes completely silent, his dick jerking in Keishin’s hand, and then he makes a shaky little noise that sounds almost hurt, scrabbling at Keishin’s back as he arches up against him; and Keishin closes his eyes and carefully strokes him through it. Twists to kiss his cheek, as best he can, until Takeda’s gone limp under him, panting so hard it’s a wonder he’s getting any air at all; and Keishin hesitates, for all of a second, before he lets himself rest a bit harder against him. Leaves just enough space between them, bracing himself against the bed and trying to not crush him.

From the way Takeda’s arms immediately slide around him, it was the right move.

And Keishin’s breathing is just as broken as Takeda’s. His heart feels like it’s going to be beat out of his chest. And he’s not sure how long they stay like that before he has to move, trying to not dislodge Takeda as he rolls to lie beside him; and Takeda just goes with it, like it’s the most natural thing ever. Waits until Keishin’s on his back, and then he curls until he’s got his head resting on Keishin’s chest, his eyes sliding shut; and it’s so wonderfully, completely easy to wrap his arms around Takeda, holding him close the way he’s been wanting to ever since he met him.

He never wants to move again.

His stomach’s flipping all over the place, and the feeling of Takeda breathing against his chest, curled up against him, is one of the best things he’s ever felt; and he just never wants to move again.

“Hey, Keishin?”

His eyes still aren’t open, and he’s smiling, looking _so_ damn happy as he lies there; and Keishin tightens his arms around him, loving the way it makes Takeda’s lips twitch a little higher.

“Yeah?”

"Can we just… stay like this, for a bit?”

He sounds just as happy as he looks, and Keishin stares at him, his throat going tight.

He loves this man. He loves him so much.

“Yeah, y-yeah, that – that sounds lovely.”

“Ka.”

He’s still smiling, his cheek resting right over Keishin’s heart, curled up against him like there’s nowhere else he’d rather be; and Keishin closes his eyes, and tightens his arms, just a little more.

Yeah. He loves this man. And he’s going to do everything he can to make him happy.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fluffy conclusion to this incredibly fluffy series, heeeeee. Sorry for the wait on this chapter, and thanks so much to everyone or all the incredibly kind feedback. :) <3
> 
> (Kink advisory: morning-after lovebites.)

When Keishin wakes up, Takeda’s still passed out against him.

For a second, Keishin just stays exactly where he is. Takeda’s curled up on his side with his face shoved into the curve of Keishin’s shoulder, and he has one arm wrapped tight around Keishin’s, even in his sleep. It’s so cute it’s unreal; and Keishin takes a moment to just stare at him before he slowly, carefully, starts wiggling his way out of bed, trying to move as little as possible.

Their alarm’s not set to go for another half hour. The last thing he wants is to wake Takeda. And he manages to make it out of bed, only to end up grinning into his hand when Takeda makes a sleepy little sound and sprawls out where Keishin had just been, shoving his face into the pillow; and Keishin’s still grinning by the time he’s made it to the washroom, trying to walk as quietly as possible. 

Dork. What a dork. And, somehow, he wants Keishin, too. 

It’s enough to have him practically skipping as he turns on the light and reaches for the shower; but then the mirror stops him. Leaves him gaping as he leans against the counter and stares at himself, kind of helplessly, until he raises a hand to his neck, which is… covered in hickeys.

For a few terrifying seconds, he can’t do anything but stare.

He’s in nothing but his boxers, and his chest has a couple of little marks, but it’s his neck that’s an absolute _disaster;_ and he can’t show up to practice like this. He _can’t._ Even if nobody knows who he was with, it would _so_ unprofessional, he _can’t_ just – his jacket, though. It zips up high enough. All the way up to his chin, if he wants. It’s fine. It might be a little bit weird, that he’ll have it done up all the way for the next few days – but it’s not outside the realm of possibly.

Which makes this fine. This isn’t a problem at all.

And the thought’s barely finished processing before he has to put a hand over his mouth, leaning against the counter and trying to muffle his laughter, because – holy _shit,_ what are they, sixteen?

Also, it’s hot, too. It’s _really_ fucking hot. It’s hot and it’s hilarious and he can’t _breathe._

“Keishin?”

Takeda’s still right in the middle of a yawn as he steps into the room, rubbing his eyes and blinking at him, his hair sticking up in every direction; but the sleepy expression on his face vanishes pretty much immediately, his hands coming up over his mouth and his eyes going wide.

“Oh my – oh my gosh – oh, _shit_ , I’m _so_ sorry, I –”

“Hey, no, it’s –”

“I didn’t even _think_ – I should have –”

Keishin cuts him off by stepping forward and wrapping his arms around him. Takeda’s just in his boxers, too, and Keishin feels himself flush as they end up pressed together; and then Takeda swallows and buries his face in Keishin’s chest, his arms going around him, too.

“I honestly didn’t even –”

“My jacket will cover it. It’s fine.”

“I didn’t – oh.”

“Yeah. S’all good. I promise.”

He slides his hands along Takeda’s back, as he says it. Doesn’t miss the way it makes him sigh and shift around, a bit, like he doesn’t know whether to press closer, or press back into his hands.

“So… so, it’s okay, then?”

He can hear the uncertainty there, still. And Keishin takes a breath, tugging Takeda closer.

"It’s okay. More than okay. Kind of awesome, actually. I kind of feel like a teenager again.”

He’s grinning as he says it, and he can feel the way Takeda’s face heats up, his groan sounding more than a little embarrassed as he presses closer, like he thinks he can hide in Keishin’s chest.

“I just… guess I got a little carried away, um –”

“Oh, no, no – that wasn’t a complaint, believe me. I, uh. Think it’s pretty hot, actually.”

His heart’s beating very quickly, suddenly. And he feels Takeda suck in a breath, before he swallows, and one of his hands slides down to rest against the small of his back, resting there with all his fingers spread as he tries to press in even closer, and – dear god, why is that so hot?

“Really?”

“Um. Yeah. Like – any time you want to –”

“Well, we’ve still got an hour until practice, right?”

His face still feels like it’s burning, against Keishin’s chest, but the words are remarkably steady, all things considered; and Keishin bites his lip as Takeda presses his mouth to the center of his chest. Just barely brushes his lips across his skin, so damn gentle about it; and Keishin closes his eyes.

Yeah. Yeah, he’s the luckiest man in the world.

“Yeah – yeah, we do, and – um, sorry I woke you, by the way. I just –”

He stops though, because Takeda’s laughing. Flat-out giggling against his chest, suddenly, even as his arms come back up to wrap Keishin in a hug, again; and Keishin can feel his own face starting to go hot, though he can’t stop grinning, either. Shit, he loves hearing this man laugh.

“What? What’s funny? What did I –”

“Keishin, I, um. I _really_ don’t mind being woken up. Between sleep and, you know – this – well, that’s really not a competition. And seeing as we do have that hour, now…”

His skin’s pretty damn flushed when he pulls back to look at Keishin, but his grin looks very pleased with the entire situation; and Keishin feels his heart beat even harder, his knees going a bit weak. Can’t seem to make words happen until Takeda’s grin softens, and a hand comes up to brush Keishin’s hair out of his face, just as gentle as Takeda had been about it the night before.

“How about – um, would you like to take a shower with me? Does that sound good?”

There’s barely a hint of teasing anymore, somehow – just honest happiness, like Takeda’s not trying to hide it at all – and Keishin can actually feel himself fall even harder. Closes his eyes as Takeda’s fingers slide through his hair, again; and then Keishin lets himself fold down until he’s got his face buried in Takeda’s shoulder, with Takeda’s fingers sliding down against his back.

“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.”

His voice is all messed up, and Takeda’s hum of acknowledgement still sounds incredibly happy; and Keishin swallows and keeps his eyes closed, letting Takeda just hold him up for a minute.

He’d been so scared, for so long, about screwing this up; and turns out he hadn’t needed to be.

Takeda wants him, too. And that definitely makes Keishin the luckiest guy in the world.

\- - -

They make it to practice in time, but just barely.

And if anyone thinks it’s odd that Keishin’s got his jacket all the zipped up, for once, or that it’s weird that he and Takeda show up together with wet hair, they don’t say a word about it.  And, if his chest is maybe still stinging from the new marks that Takeda gave him, while they were soaking wet and squished into that tiny shower together, well – nobody else ever needs to know.

Of course, there’s also the fact that he spends the whole day grinning like a love-struck idiot, so he’s probably not being nearly subtle enough; but he honestly doesn’t give a fuck. Takeda keeps catching him smiling and then blushing and grinning right back, and Keishin doesn’t care if the whole damn world catches on. As long as Takeda wants him, then that’s all that really matters.

\- - -

He still feels like he’s walking on a cloud by the time the day is done.

And it just gets better when he and Takeda excuse themselves from dinner with the other coaches and teachers, and end up going for a walk until they find a gorgeous little park, tucked in behind some nearby buildings. The trees are gorgeous, and it’s pretty deserted; and when Keishin ends up sitting down against a tree and holding out a hand, Takeda just stares at him before he swallows and takes it, letting Keishin tug him down until he’s resting against Keishin’s chest with his head on his shoulder, sighing and pressing closer as Keishin wraps his arms around him.

To hell with what anyone thinks. He’s got Takeda in his arms. That’s the most important thing.

And he doesn’t want to hide this. Not even for a day longer.

“Well, this is absolutely lovely, isn’t it?”

Takeda’s smiling as he says it, twisting until he can rest his cheek against Keishin’s chest; and Keishin nods, and then Takeda closes his eyes and shoves his face into his shoulder; and Keishin takes a deep breath, because – he really needs to ask something. He needs to be clear about this.

He knows what he wants. And he’s pretty sure Takeda wants the same things, too.

“So, um – question, then.”

His mouth is dry, and it comes out shaky; and Takeda just makes one of those happy humming noises of his, his fingers sliding up to carefully twist with Keishin’s, gently lacing them together.

“Anything, Keishin. What is it?”

_Anything._

God, maybe Takeda really does want the same things as him.

And it’s enough for him to get the words out, though they stick in his throat, a bit.

“So, what you were saying, last night, about… not being interested in something casual…”

He can’t quite finish, though; but maybe that’s okay, because Takeda laces their fingers a bit tighter, and then – his eyes still closed – turns to press a kiss against his shoulder, before he blushes and goes back to just snuggling against him; and Keishin swallows, hard, as he closes his eyes.

How did he ever find this man?

“I meant it, you know.”

Takeda’s voice is soft, and Keishin tightens his arm around him, feeling his heart skip a beat.

“I - yeah. Me – me too.”

He’s barely done saying it before Takeda grins and presses closer to him, his cheeks flushing even harder; and Keishin’s heart jumps again. Yeah. Yeah, this is probably going to be okay.

He still has to take a second before he manages to say it, though, the words sticking in his throat.

“So… so, when we get back, then… is it – could I – can I tell my family I have a boyfriend?”

For a second, it’s terrifying.

Despite everything – despite all the reasons why this should be okay – it’s still terrifying.

Then, Takeda twists around to sit and look at him, his eyes wide, and Keishin breathes through the heat on his face, until Takeda leans in to kiss him, barely brushing their lips together before he pulls back, again, his eyes still wide, and his hands shaky against either side of Keishin’s face.

“Of – of _course_ you can. I – I’d – are you sure, though? Because –”

“Yeah, I’m sure. If you’re sure –”

“Anything, Keishin. Whatever you want, I’m –”

Keishin cuts him off, though, because he kind of has to kiss him, again; and he only stops when he realizes how badly they’re both grinning, Takeda’s eyes damn near sparkling as he beams at him; and then he tucks himself back in against Keishin, again, curling up in his arms like it’s just the easiest thing in the world; and Keishin tightens his grip, pressing his smile into Takeda’s hair.

Shit, he’s so lucky. He’s so _incredibly_ lucky.

He’s got the guy he loves in his arms, and he’s never felt this happy in his entire life; and he’s damn well going to spend every day doing everything he can to Takeda as happy as possible, too.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone fancies being [tumblr](http://twisting-vine-x.tumblr.com/) buddies, I'm always happy to make new friends. <3
> 
> (Note: my blog will have major spoilers for the Shingeki no Kyojin manga; so if you'd like to be friends and avoid those, the tag to blacklist is, 'aot manga spoilers'.)


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